


In a Kingdom of Lonely Knights

by gatergirl79



Category: EastEnders (TV), Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Closeted Character, Homophobia, Kingsman Training, M/M, Michelle is Ronnie's twin, Michelle is a Mitchell, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Phil Mitchell bashing, Post-Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rating May Change, Resolved Sexual Tension, Work In Progress, did I mention this was a work in progress, past eggsy x tilde, reference to background Whitney x Callum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2020-11-26 00:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20921402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatergirl79/pseuds/gatergirl79
Summary: Ben decides to take his brother's words to heart when a stranger offers him a chance at a new life. He has no idea that Kingsman is about to give him everything he never knew he needed.Meanwhile, Harry and Eggsy struggle to rebuild their 'friendship' in the wake of Harry's resurrection and Eggsy's failed relationship with Tilde.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU where Callum never returned to Walford after he left that first time. He and Ben never met. This is one hundred percent a Phil Mitchell bashing space. If you like him, you might want to pick another story. No hard feelings. Trigger warning for homophobic language and mentions of past child abuse. And this had not been Beta’ed, so will likely contain spelling/grammar mistakes. 
> 
> Also, please don't be mad at me for giving Jay's scene from the hospital to Eggsy.

Eggsy was woken by his phone and let out a deep frustrated groan as he rolled over, reached for the mobile. Without opening his eyes, he swiped his thumb across the screen, then raised it to his ear, "Hi, Mum." He greeted thickly, his mouth dry from sleep.

There was a long silence, then a muffled sound of a sniffle. Suddenly Eggsy shot up in the bed, heart racing erratically. A sudden moment of déjà vu. "Mum, what's happened? What's going on? Mum?"

There were more sniffles that only managed to heighten Eggsy’s anxiety, then eventually his mum spoke, "Oh Eggsy," she muttered, throat think with emotion, "It's Phil. He's been attacked."

Air left Eggsy's lungs in one long relieved rush and he dropped back against the pillows, arm falling over his eyed closed, "Oh, is that all? I thought it was somefink serious."

"It is seriously." His mum scolded, "He's in a coma."

Eggsy wished he could feel something, but frankly, it couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke. "I'm sure he'll be fine, Mum." He sighed, rubbing his free hand over his eyes. "Phil's fucking invisible.” And that was far from a compliment. “He's like a bald, vicious superman."

"Eggsy!" His mum snapped, though there was no genuine anger in her voice. Deep down, she hated him as much as Eggsy did.

"What? You expect me to feel sorry for him? It's no more than he deserves, I'm sure."

"Gary Unwin! He's family." Michelle Unwin, previously Michelle, reminded him. The words bitter and cold.

Eggsy lowered his arm and rolled his eyes, it would be funny if it weren’t so pathetic. "When it suits him." He muttered under his breath, ignoring the irritated huff which told Eggsy in no uncertain terms that she'd heard him. Sighing, Eggsy opened his eyes and stared at the white ceiling, "Look mum, you know how I feel about th… Phil, and sure I'm sorry your cousin's landed himself back in hospital _again_, but frankly, I don't see why you're telling me."

"Billy said there was a chance Ben did it."

That certainly got Eggsy's attention and he sat up once more, his heart beginning to race. "What?" He proclaimed, shocked. Of course, he wasn't surprised Ben had finally snapped, rather that it had taken this long. "Has he been arrested?"

"Not according to Billy. Apparently, they're looking into Lou's fella."

“But of course, everyone still thinks Ben did it?” Eggsy grunted, unsurprised. The problem with his maternal relatives, is they’re perfectly happy to turn a blind eye to all the awful things Phil does and then act surprised when it blows back on the bastard. Eggsy frowned, "Why?"

His mum didn’t have an answer for that, which meant no one wanted to admit the reason Ben might just go ape-shit and batter his dad. Swinging his legs out of the bed, Eggsy made his way to the loo. "But the police are looking at someone else?”

"Seems he had a pretty big blow up with Phil in the pub." His mum continued.

“Is that all? If they're going to suspect everyone Phil's had a public fight with, it's gonna be a long investigation." He joked dryly. "Including me."

"Eggsy?" Sounding suddenly nervous. As if he’d risk everything he had now on that bald fucker. – Besides, if he’d done it, Phil wouldn’t be in a coma, he’d be in a coffin.

He rolled his eyes as he hit the flush and turned on the shower. "For fuck sake, Mum, it weren't me. - And just to prove it, I have an alibi. I didn't even get back in the country until yesterday afternoon, and then I spend the rest of the day with Harry."

A long moment of silence followed the mention of Harry, and Eggsy sighed again. "Look, I'm gonna get ready and then I'll pick you up and take ya..."

"No." His mum said shapely, "I don't want to.... - I just thought you'd want to know about Ben. You were always close."

He wondered if she knew how close. "Yeah." He hummed, "I’ll head over there, check up on everyone, and I'll let you know. Okay? "

"Fanks babe, you're such a good boy."

"It’s alright mum. I'll call ya later. Love t'Dais." Hanging up, Eggsy set the phone down beside the sink and began to strip, his mind worriedly focused on his cousin. He hadn’t seen Ben in years, not since Dean had marched back into their lives and tossed him out on his ear.

While he wouldn’t blame Ben for finally doing his father in, part of him couldn’t believe it. Ben’s biggest problem was he loved his father too much, to the detriment of his own sanity. He’d tried to cut ties before, tried to break away, but every time he kept being sucked in. Just like everyone else in the Mitchell clan. Was it any wonder his own dad had fought to keep him and his mum away from them?

As Eggsy climbed into the shower, he couldn’t help but wish Phil never woke up. For everyone’s sake.

__(ee)__

Ben stared at the tubing, his mind reeling and his heart beating rapidly against his ribs. The look in his sister eyes had haunted him all the way to the hospital. He couldn't believe they thought he'd done it. - No, that was a lie, of course he could. He had form, right? Just as Lou said, he’d done it before. He'd had blood on his hands since he was sixteen years old.

What hurt was how they couldn't understand why he'd want to. They were so blind to his father's toxicity, so blinded by everything he said and did, because he never did it to them. He was the only target of his father's malice and hate and disgust. He was the abomination, the black sheep. He wasn't a real Mitchell, was he? No matter how hard he tried; he would never win his father over. And why? Because of who he slept with. – Who he loved.

Visions of Paul played over in his mind and tears filled his eyes. Memories of the way his father had looked at them, at the man he loved. He hadn't even been able to acknowledge what Paul meant to him when he died. _"Your...friend." _His _friend_. Paul wasn't just his friend. Paul was his everything.

And now, three years on, nothing had changed. He would never be good enough. Never be the son Phil wanted. He’d never be Jay or Denny, or Keanu. Hell, Billy got more respect than him.

And what if these new kids turned out like him? What would Phil do then? Would he disown them too? Would he tear them apart, piece by piece? – Or worse, what if they weren't like him? What if they lived up to their father's hopes and dreams? - A shiver went through Ben at the thought of the cycle continuing into a new generation. That dark Mitchell seed he'd been born with being fed and nurtured by....

"You are not going to screw up Louise and Sharon's babies like you did me. You are not." He gritted out around the tears in his throat. Each word filled with pain, anger and determination. What was one more life if it meant protecting two? "Bye Dad." He felt his fingers begin to tighten around the tube.

"If that's your plan, you might want to switch off the alarm on the machine first. Don't want anyone to come running."

Ben's head snapped around, eyes red and wide as he stared at the surprise arrival, his fingers relaxing only slightly but not moving from the tube. "What you doin' here?"

"Mum called. Told me what happened?"

Ben looked his cousin up and down, taking in the smart suit and umbrella. He'd heard Eggsy had landed on his feet, but he hadn't quite believed it. “Wanted to come pay your respects?” he asked, smirking coldly. Eggsy couldn’t stand his dad, hated him even.

Eggsy glanced past him to Phil, "They think you did this." He started matter-of-factly, ignoring Ben’s question.

Ben scoffed. "Yeah." He muttered, hand still in place, "Do you?"

Eggsy's eyes moved up to Ben’s and the corner of his lip curled slightly. Then he shook his head, "Nah, bruv, he wouldn't be here if you had.” The meaning clear in the man’s voice, and it sent a cold chill through him, but he didn’t move.

Ben exhaled a long beneath, his shoulders relaxing. There was no judgement in Eggsy's tone, likely because he understood what Ben had gone through over the years better than anyone. He'd grown up with his own Phil Mitchell.

"Do you plan on finishing what whoever started?" Eggsy asked, stepping up to the end of the bed. "I wouldn't blame you. I'd even keep look out, if you want." He jerked his head towards the door.

Ben straightened, chin raised, meeting the challenge, his left hand shaking as they stared at each other, the only sound in the room coming from the ventilator. Unable to stand the quiet, Ben said in a low voice, "The world would be better off without him."

"True. " Eggsy agreed.

"No one would even notice he was gone. Sharon and Lou, they'd cry and mourn, but they'd get over it and it'll be as if he was never here."

"Maybe." Eggsy shrugged, looking back to Phil, just watching his chest rise and fall. Then in a quiet, conspiratorial voice he asked, "Do you still have nightmares?"

Ben didn't need to ask what nightmares, any more than he needed to ask how Eggsy knew. Swallowing thickly, he looked back at his father and felt his gut twist, fresh tears pool in his eyes. Slowly his fingers unfurled, and he let the tube slip from his grasp, his hand falling to his side. It trembled against his denim covered thigh.

Eggsy seemed to relax the second his hand was away from the machine, the man's shoulder slumping. "So... - Who do you think did it? He certainly had enough enemies."

Ben shrugged stiffly and turned his back on his cousin, marching over and dropping down onto the hard-plastic chair. He stared at his shaking hands. "Police are looking into Louise's fella, Keanu." He grunted, "Apparently they had a slanging match in the Vic. Ton of witnesses." He glanced up through his lashes to find Eggsy watching him once more, that same too observant look in his eyes. Before anything could be said, the hospital room door opened and Jay stepped in, looking around in surprise. As if he'd been expecting something to be happening. "Eggsy?"

"Jay.” He greeted with a wide genuine smile. "It's good to see you, bruv. How you been? "

"Good." Jay nodded awkwardly, looking between where Eggsy stood and Ben sat slouched in the chair. "Nice suit." Jay complimented, his gaze running down the tailored fabric. "Looks expensive."

“It is." Eggsy scoffed, running a hand down his front. "Perks of working for a tailor. You should drop by sometime,” he reached into the top pocket of his jacket and retrieved a card, "I’m sure I could get you a deal. Family discount.”

Ben rolled his eyes and folded his arms, mostly so Jay wouldn’t notice his hands shaking.

"Especially as I hear you're in the funeral business now?" Eggsy grinned cheerily.

Taking the small card, Jay scoffed, "Even with a discount, I doubt I’d be able to afford anythin’ that classy. Business ain’t that good." He chuckled, slipping his hands into his pockets and rocking back on his heels as he glanced over at the bed. "I'm surprised you came?"

"Promised mum I'd drop by, just to see how he is. - And wanted to catch up with this wanker." He laughed casually. “Thought I’d drag him off for a pint, get his mind off it. You want t’join us?”

“Nah, some of us have actual work to do, and it’s just me.” Jay grumbled, “Just wanted to – drop in and check on him.” His eyes flickered over to Ben, who simply stared back at him unaffected. “Lola’s been tryin’ to get hold of yer, by the way. Might want to give her a bell, yeah?” At Ben’s unfazed look, Jay added, "She's worried about you."

"She shouldn't be, I'm fine." Ben replied sharply. He should have known Lola was behind Jay's sudden appearance.

Jay looked ready to say something, but clearly reconsider with Eggsy in the room. “Fine, whatever, brother. I’ve got a corpse waiting.” He fussed with his jacket and turned back to Eggsy, “If you’re still hanging around later, perhaps we could have a pint and catch up.”

"Yeah bruv." Eggsy nodded.

"I'll see yer later, yeah?" Jay said carefully, staring down at Ben.

Ben’s only response was a grunted confirmation. With a tired sigh, Jay shot Phil a last sad look, then hurried out of the hospital room. The second the door closed behind him, Ben fell forward, his head dropping into his hands with a sigh of relief. "Fanks." Ben muttered, looking up to meet his cousin’s gaze.

"For?"

"Not telling him." Ben grunted, shoving himself out of the chair. "The last thing I want is a slanging match with him."

Eggsy shrugged, "There's nothing to tell." He reminded coolly. "Nothing happened, right?"

Ben stared at the slightly older man, then inclined his head slowly, "You mentioned a drink. I fink I could really do with one." He said, already heading for the door.

"Good, so could I. But not in Walford, I don't fancy being stared at by every Tom, Dick and Ian."

Ben chucked, the door falling shut behind them with a loud bang. "Deal.”

**___(K)___**

They settled into the booth next to the window at the back of a strange pub. It was surprisingly empty considering how close it was to the hospital, and that it was midafternoon, but that might have been because it was a warm summer day and most of the patrons were sitting outside in the beer garden with their families, soaking up the sunshine. Eggsy was grateful. He'd always preferred quiet pubs; they were so calming and easy in a way that a lot of those popular gastro pubs just weren't.

Ben slouched against the seat, letting the fingers of his left hand drag through the condensation on the side of his pint glass, his gaze fixed outside. Eggsy settled his umbrella against the edge of the table and mirrored his position. "So, want to tell me what happened back there?"

The younger man remained silent, but Eggsy could tell by the sudden set of his jaw that he'd heard the question and waited patiently. There was never any point pushing Ben, not unless you wanted him to push back. It was somewhat of a family trait.

"You saw what happened." Ben shrugged, turning his red rimmed eyes to stare at his glass instead of the other patrons. "I tried to ki.... "

"Yeah, I saw that. I meant - why?" Eggsy quickly interrupted. The last thing they needed was someone overhearing Ben's confession and dobbing them in. "I mean, I can guess why you'd _want_ to." He added with meaning, letting his own fingers dance over the glass, as his mind replayed countless things Phil Mitchell has done that would lead to someone wanting to kill him. "But why now?"

Ben shrugged, meeting Eggsy’s gaze. "Seemed like a good idea at the time." He dismissed, lifting the glass to his lips.

Eggsy exhaled with a nod, "why are you even back here?" He asked sincerely, brows knitted together, "Last I heard from you, you were living it up in Portugal with some new bloke. What happened?"

Setting his glass back down, Ben gave another shrug. "I missed home."

Eggsy stared at him unconvinced, "What to try that again?"

Ben sighed, turning his head back to stare out the window, watching the kids rushing around. Eggsy watched him, taking in the way the early afternoon sun gleamed off Ben's unshed tears. The way his cousin's jaw flexed as he clenched it.

"I was happy like that once." Ben muttered, "But then I got shipped back here." Eggsy sighed sympathetically. “Ever since I stepped foot in England, nothing has gone right. - I just keep ruining everything. I'm cursed.”

"You ain’t cursed, bruv. – And you certainly ain’t the one ruining things." He insisted harshly.

Ben scoffed, "He wrote me out of his will. You know that?" He turned his red tormented eyes back to Eggsy. "Lou's bloke got what was mine. He's only been around a few months and dad's already treating him better than he ever treated me.”

Eggsy rolled his eyes and leant heavily on the table, holding his cousin’s gaze, "Are you really so surprised? You know what he's like, Ben. He uses what he's got to keep everyone under his thumb. He manipulates and twists situations. He needs to be in control, - and he's quick to turn his back if you dare to try and be your own person. "

Ben dropped his gaze, fingers absently lifting to rub at his nose. Eggsy’s eyes followed the movement and he frowned, jaw tightening angrily as he took in the faded cuts and bruises, "He do that?" Eggsy asked tightly.

Ben shook his head, “Couple of fellas who couldn’t take a joke."

Eggsy nodded, not quite believing the explanation. After all, it wouldn't be the first time Ben had been on the receiving end of his father’s temper.

"Honestly, it weren't dad." Ben insisted, clearly reading Eggsy's mind. "You can ask Billy if you don't believe me. He was there to scrape be off the ground. - Which is more than can be said for my dad." He added in an almost whisper.

Eggsy frowned, but let himself relax, taking a sip of his pint. "You know what you need?"

"What's that?" Ben huffed, lifting his own glass.

"You need to get away."

"I've been away, I just... "

"I don't mean like that. I mean, you need to find something for yourself. Get away from the Mitchell name and all the shit that comes with it. Away from him. - You need to be yourself, rather than the man you think Phil wants you to be."

Ben lifted an amused brow, "Oh yeah? And what do you suggest?"

Eggsy pressed his lips into a thin line, but before he could say anything, Ben's phone began to ring. Fishing it out, Ben sighed, hitting the screen. "What? – Lexi, uh, yeah, I’m not sure when I’ll be home babe.”

Eggsy watched as Ben’s harsh tone changed the second he realized it was his daughter, a look of love and devotion in his eyes, and a softness in his voice that made Eggsy’s heart ache. Ben was already twice the man Phil was, and certainly a better father. If only he could just see that for himself. See that his dad's approval wasn't the be all and end all. If only he'd allow himself to just stop caring.

_I see a young man with potential_. Harry's voice echoed in his mind, and Eggsy's stomach twisted. He could see the same potential in his cousin as Harry once saw in him, and an idea came to mind. It wouldn't be easy. He'd have to do some groveling, tug a few strings, especially as he'd already put someone forward for training, and Ben wasn't their usual type of candidate. He had no weapons experience or military training, but Eggsy knew he was a quick learner.

He would just have to talk Harry into letting him switch Cal out for Ben.

"I need to go." Ben said with a sigh, the second he’d hung up. "Lola's freaking out." Rolling his eyes, he finished off his drink and slid from the booth.

Eggsy smiled tightly as he moved to join him, "I should probably get back to work too." He said, throwing back the last of his beer and grabbing his umbrella.

Once they were outside, Ben turned to meet his cousin's concerned eyes. "Fanks for t'day."

"I didn't do anything. " Eggsy dismissed, despite them both knowing what would have happened if he hadn't turned up when he did. "Look," Eggsy said after clearing his throat, "if you ever actually decided to stop living off the scraps from his table and want to be the kind of dad your little girl can be proud of." He said meaningfully, eyes holding Ben's. "Call me, okay?"

Ben stared at him, mouth opening to speak. Likely to tell him that he doesn't need Eggsy's help, but surprisingly nothing came out. A second later, Ben gave him a tight smile and a sharp nod. Then he stepped up to Eggsy, throwing his arms around him to deliver a bone crushing hug.

When they drew apart, soft smiles on each of their faces, Ben turned, “Later, Cuz.” He said as he headed towards the bus stop. Beside Eggsy a shiny black cab drew to a halt, but he didn’t rush to climb in, instead watching as Ben jogged along the street. It was only once he was out of view, did Eggsy tug open the door and slip inside. "To the shop, Kevin."

"Yes, Sir. " the driver said with a nod, the car pulling away the second Eggsy closed the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Eggsy convince Harry to give Ben a chance?

The second he opened the door, his eyes sort out Harry, sat in his traditional seat at the head of the long table, head bowed as he rifled through a pile of paperwork. Eggsy's heart clenched painfully, as it always did, at the sight of the older man, _Alive_. His gaze fluttered over Harry’s features as the man lifted his head in greeting. "Eggsy. A little late, aren't you?" Harry asked with a small smile, not an ounce of condemnation in his tone.

Shrugging, Eggsy strolled fully into the room and over to his chair, "Sorry, had some family drama to deal with."

Harry lowered his pen and stared at Eggsy questioningly. "Are Michelle and Daisy alright?"

Eggsy smiled warmly at the genuine concern in his boss’s tone. "They're fine." he reassured, lowering himself into his chair. "I just had to go and visit mum’s cousin. He's in hospital."

Confusion and curiosity crossed Harry's face briefly before he turned away and focused on the files once more. "I'm sorry to hear that. Nothing serious I hope."

"Someone tried to smash his head in.” Eggsy replied casually, slumping down in his seat.

Harry's eyes widened in shock and he turned to regard Eggsy with renewed worry. "Oh?"

Eggsy waved his hand, "Don't worry about it, he likely deserved it." A thousand questions were etched on Harry’s face, but Eggsy ignored the curious look, his attention instead going to the pile in front of Harry. "How's it going?" Eggsy asked, seemingly changing the subject. He casually leaned forward onto his elbows, ignoring the scolding look from Harry. "Found anyone interesting?"

Harry tore his eyes from Eggsy and shook his head. "Not as of yet."

"What are you looking for?" he asked smoothly, drawing a file over and scanning the short summary. "Abusive father. Criminal record." His eyes shifted to the attached photo. "And good looking to boot." Eggsy looked up with a smirk, brow quirked, "Should I be jealous?" Eggsy joked but flinched inwardly as he realized what he’d just said.

Harry looked up from the paper in his hand, brows raised with uncertainty, "Beg your pardon?"

Eggsy dropped the pages on the tabletop and leant back, trying to deliver his old carefree cheeky persona. The problem was, it had become difficult to play that part. They weren’t like that anymore, there was always a tension between them now, that had somehow stolen their old easy friendship. "Just sayin', you seem to have a type. – Of recruit." He smirked, false glee brightening his tired eyes.

It had been almost a year since they'd stopped Poppy, losing half of their colleagues in the process; and regretfully things were still weird between him and Harry. The bond was still there. Still strong, however there was a strain they just couldn't seem to shake.

At first Eggsy had put it down to Harry's amnesia, and their forced separation, but it hadn't gone away. If anything, it had gotten worse. Especially after he'd decided to end things with Tilde, against Harry’s advice. He just hadn't been able to realistically envision a future married to a Princess. – Though that had only been a small part of the problem.

Looking between the knight’s face and the folder, Harry rolled his eyes wearily, "Believe me, the only interest I have in Mr. Warren, is his potential as Gawain’s replacement. - Also, I haven't settled on anyone at present. "

Eggsy chewed at his lip thought fully, "That's good."

"And why is that?" Harry frowned curiously, setting his pen aside and fixing Eggsy with a searching look.

Shuffling on his seat nervously, Eggsy leant forward once more, closing the file and leaning on his elbows, "Cause I - was kinda hopin ' I be able t'switch my candidate."

“Pardon me?" Harry's brows rose with surprise. "You fought so hard to have Mr. Highway considered for the position, what's happened to cause you to reconsider?" Harry stared at him with a mixture of suspicion, worry and confusion.

Eggsy shook his head vigorously, "Nothink. I still fink Callum would make a great Kingsman, which is why I’m glad you ain’t found no one. I mean – I was finkin’ that maybe you could put him forward so I… - It’s just..." He couldn't help but fiddle with the papers still in front of him, "I'd rather put someone else forward."

Harry’s frowned deepened and he made himself a little more comfortable on his seat, twisting his body to better face Eggsy. "Oh?"

There was so much meaning in that one syllable. Clearing his throat, Eggsy shifted to mirror Harry’s posture, meeting his eyes. He'd need to tell the older man everything if he expected to be allowed to switch out his proposal. "My cousin."

Harry's brow quirked with surprise. "Jamal?"

"Nah." Eggsy shook his head, "My cousin on my mother's side, Ben. He - the thing is Harry, he's heading down a dark path, worse than the one I was on when you saved me, and I want to do the same for him before he does somethin’ he can't take back."

Harry stared, suddenly concerned, "What kind of dark path?"

"If he ain't stopped, he'll end up like his dad, and - Harry, his dad is...." He shook his head, dropping his gaze, "He's as bad as Dean. Hell, I might even say worse, in his own way. - Dean would slap me and mum around and be proud of it. He didn’t bother apologizing, didn’t bother making it seem like a mistake. You knew what you got with Dean; you know? He’s violent and hard, and he rules by fear.” He shrugged, running out of words. “Phil though.” He sighed, fiddling with a small hangnail, “Phil’s manipulative. He – He gets in here,” he tapped angrily at his temple, “messes with the way you think. Makes you feel like you’re the one letting _him_ down, you know?” Eggsy met Harry’s gaze pleadingly. “I’ve watched him do it. With Mum, with everyone. Especially with Ben.

“He’s violent too. He’ll slap you if necessary, he doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty, like with Dean, there ain’t no one that’s off limits. – But – Phil prefers to twist your head; make _you_ want to please _him_. Make you want to live up to _his_ expectations. He throws about words like family and loyalty, but only when it suits him. Only when he gets something out of it.”

Eggsy fell silent and a heavy blanket of tension hung over them for a short while, before Eggsy spoke again, “He's messed Ben up, Harry. He’s desperate for Phil’s approval, and when he doesn’t get it, he can’t cope. – The thing is, he can’t ever actually live up to Phil's impossible standards." Looking up, he held the older man's gaze, "Not and be himself. - But there's good in him. I _know_ it. I've _seen_ it. If I could just get him away from his dad, and show him that he's worth something, I can save him."

Eggsy inhaled deeply, straightening and licking at his lips. There was a long tense moment of silence before Harry finally replied. "It’s not your job to save one man.”

“Why not?” Eggsy snapped, cutting Harry off. “We save the world; _I’ve_ saved the world. _Twice_. So why can’t I, just for once, save one person.”

Harry fell silent, his eyes once again searching Eggsy’s taunt flustered face. “And you feel he could make a good Kingsman? As good as Mr. Highway?"

Eggsy opened his mouth to insist that yes, of course Ben would be a good Kingsman, but the words wouldn't come. "I - I don't know," he sighed honestly, "I - I just have to do something Harry."

"This isn't some kind of reform school, Eggsy." He stated, “If you don't expect him to make it as a Kingsman, then why... "

"I _know_ that, Harry!" Eggsy's eyes turned hard, "And I never said he wouldn't make it, just that I didn't know. No one knows if their prospect will make it until they do?" He snapped defensively. There was something in the way Harry had spoken, that had brought back the memory of his own time as a recruit. Memories of the judgement he’d faced, not only from his fellow prospects, but also from Arthur, and it sparked a righteous anger in his gut. "You sound just like Chester, Harry." He spat, shoving his chair back angrily, and getting to his feet.

"Eggsy, that's not..." Harry called after him, voice softer and slightly desperate. "_Galahad_!"

With his hand on the knob, Eggsy froze, exhaling slowly and letting the anger seep from his body. Harry rarely ever called him by his codename, and it sent an icy shiver through him. He didn't turn to regard his boss though, unable to face him with the anger still simmering beneath the surface.

"Mr. Highway’s name has already been added to the roster. Merlin has already set in motion his reassignment." Harry informed him, voice firm.

Eggsy sighed, his shoulders slumping with regret, "Right.” Deep down he’d known it wouldn’t be that easy. He knew what the protocol was, knew there were strings to be pulled. But he’d hoped maybe his – friendship with Harry would… “If that's all Arthur, I have paperwork to see to."

There was a long pregnant silence, then Harry muttered, "You are excused."

"Thank you." Eggsy replied stiffly, finally opening the heavy wooden door and stepping through.

With a heavy weight on his shoulders now, Eggsy made his way down the steps and into fitting room 1, where he pressed his hand to the glass and waited. It wasn't until he was settled in the shuttle that he allowed himself to ponder Ben and his future.

He didn't even know if Ben would be willing to try training as a Kingsman, but Eggsy had figured it would be better to put his name forward before offering Ben the chance. Now though, he was glad he hadn't broached the subject with his cousin.

There was also Lexi to think about, he realized. Training was dangerous, his own father had learnt that the hard way. Suddenly Eggsy had a vision of turning up at Kathy's door to deliver the same news Harry had brought his mom almost twenty years ago. What was he thinking? He couldn't do that to Lexi.

_It wouldn't be worse than him turning in to Phil, would it? _He asked himself. At least she'd know he tried to be a better man. Besides, if he were honest with himself, he didn't expect Ben to get through training. Not really. - But this wasn't about whether Ben was the last man standing, it was about showing him that he didn't have to end up like his dad. It was about finding that caring, honest young man Ben had once been. The young man life, and Phil, had beaten down.

Eggsy tapped his fingers anxiously against the padded arm of the seat and let his mind drift.

Eggsy had never liked his "_Uncle_" Phil. Partially because in a roundabout way, he was responsible for his mum meeting Dean. But mostly his hatred stemmed from the fact that he was an abusive drunk who liked having control over people. As he’d said to Harry, Phil loved words like family, but didn’t seem to understand what it meant to be one.

Ever since he was a kid, Eggsy knew Phil was rotten, and hated the man. That opinion didn't change at all when Ben found his way back into the family after his mum's presumed death. In fact, it helped solidify it.

Ben Mitchell had been a sweet boy growing up. Caring, friendly. _Nothing_ like his father. What little he'd seen of his cousin, Eggsy had liked. He knew he had loved to dance and was actually pretty good. Eggsy had even tried to show him some gymnastic moves, though Ben wasn’t quite as _nimble_ as Eggsy had been as a kid. He’d also had an infectious sense of humor, despite being shy. Frankly, Ben was the only person Eggsy looked forward to seeing when he was forced to attend family functions.

The first time he’d seen the bruises, Eggsy had wanted to kill Phil, right there, at the dinner table. It was only the pleading look on Ben’s face and his mum’s hand on his arm, that had kept him quiet. He’d gotten his own back though. A couple of hours later when Phil had insisted on taking the boys, meaning him, Ben and Jay, to the local boxing club to work off the lunch.

Eggsy smiled to himself as the memory replayed in his mind. After going a couple of rounds with Jay, and going easy on a nervous Ben, he’d looked Phil dead in the eye and challenged him. He’d pushed and pushed until Phil had given in and climbed into the ring. Ben and Jay had both looked at him, terrified, but Eggsy wasn’t scared. Not then, not ever.

Just because Phil saw him as a weak pansy who liked to prance around in Lycra, didn’t mean that he couldn’t hold his own in a fight. His dad had been a soldier, it was in his blood. Something Phil learnt that day, when he’d eaten the mat.

As great as it had felt, in hindsight, Eggsy knew it hadn’t been worth it. It would be years before he saw Ben again; Phil having made it clear that neither he nor his mum were welcome. Perhaps if he’d kept quiet, maybe he’d have been there to protect Ben later. Maybe he could have kept Ben from not only winding up in Young Offenders, but also Prison. Maybe a woman would still be alive, if he’d just listened to his mum.

It had haunted him for years after that, keeping him silent as he watched his mum get pummeled, and Dean turn their once warm home into a doss house for his shitty rag-tag bunch of mutts.

But he wasn’t keeping quite anymore. He’d learnt from Harry, that _‘all it took for evil to triumph was for good men to do nothing’_, and he wasn’t ever going to do nothing again.

The shuttle slowed to a stop with a peaceful whoosh, and the doors opened. With a sigh Eggsy stood and stepped off, tugging at his suit jacket. Perhaps there was another option, another position within Kingsman. They were always looking for drivers, or perhaps in the shop.

The thought of Ben as a tailor made him snort, and he shook his head while walking towards the door that would lead up into the newly constructed mansion. He'd have to think about it, but there was no way he was giving up on Ben again.

___(K)___

Harry stared at the closed door, a mixture of frustration and guilt bubbling up inside him. He hadn’t meant it to sound as if he didn't want Eggsy's cousin, he simply didn't understand why Eggsy would want to put him forward. He hadn't so much as mentioned this young man before, and certainly not in regard of a place at Kingsman. In fact, Eggsy had ranted about how keeping it in the family had been what landed them with his father, and almost cost the world half its population.

So, was it so surprising that Harry was curious? There was no need for his young protégé to storm out like a four-year-old. - Why couldn't things just go back to how they'd been? Before Kentucky. Before he'd died. Before Eggsy had ended his three-year relationship to his princess.

That had been when everything had started to go wrong. When Eggsy had chosen Kingsman over a normal life. When he'd put the safety of the world before his own happiness. Harry had tried to change his mind. He'd even lied through his teeth, figuring telling Eggsy that he'd never known love. How nothing had passed before his eyes when he'd been shot, would scare him into choosing to return to her.

It hadn't worked. Forty-eight hours after dealing with Poppy, Eggsy had shown up at the safe house Harry was using, seeing as his own had been destroyed, with a bottle of fine whiskey and a bag of fish ‘n’ chips.

Harry frowned at the door, fiddling with his pen thoughtfully. "Merlin?"

_"Yes Arthur? " _came the distorted voice of his best friend, and longtime colleague.

"I need you to gather all the information you can on Eggsy's cousin."

_"Jamal?"_

"No. From his mother's side, Ben. Father's name is Phil. - In fact, I want everything you can get hold of on both of them."

_"I'll have it for yer in an hour."_

“Thank you, Merlin. " he said sincerely.

An hour and a half later, Harry was sat with a double scotch in his hand and a detailed history of both Ben Mitchell, his father and their criminal dealings.

___(ee)___

"You wanted to see me, Arthur?" Eggsy said from the door to Harry's office, obviously still angry with him.

Harry had abandoned the shop a few hours ago so he could be sure of some privacy while reading the files Merlin had given him. They had certainly been eye-opening. "Yes. Please take a seat."

Inclining his head, Eggsy reluctantly took the chair facing Harry. They'd come a long way since Eggsy would simply drop his arse into any available seat, and if Harry was honest with himself, he missed it. As a Kingsman, Eggsy's polished good manners were now beyond reproach and fitting for his position. However, those manners had stolen a sense of – intimacy, and dare he say friendship from their interactions. Especially when Eggsy used it as a weapon to keep him at a distance. Something he hadn't realized was possible until the first time Eggsy had knocked on his office door and then _asked_ if he could sit. Harry had instantly felt a bizarre sense of loss that confused him for weeks.

"What can I do for you, Sir?" Eggsy asked stiffly.

Harry watched him take the seat, fully taking in his appearance. Despite technically still being on duty, Eggsy sat there without jacket or tie, the collar of his shirt open and the sleeves rolled up. Harry didn't think he'd ever looked so dashing. "It's about your request." He said, ignoring the ache that came from their ever-increasing distance.

Eggsy perked up a little, "Oh?"

"As I said, switching at such a late stage is quite out of the question. Merlin has already..."

"For fuck sake Harry, did you just fucking call me here to tell me _again_ how I can't change my nomination? I fucking heard you the first time!" He yelled furiously, shooting out of his chair. All politeness and professionalism forgotten.

The ache in Harry's heart eased some as the mask slipped. "I am _not_ finished." Harry stated coolly as Eggsy headed for the door without a by your leave.

Eggsy turned, glaring at him, lips in a thin line. Inhaling deeply through his nose, Eggsy removed his hand and dragged himself back to the chair. "My apologies. _Arthur_." He said through gritted teeth.

"I have some questions." Harry said lazily, leaning back in his chair.

"Why?" Eggsy frowned.

"You can't put him forward.” Harry said softly, eyes locked with the young man, “I, _however,_ have yet to make a selection."

At his words Eggsy's anger evaporated and he sat up straighter, eyes practically lighting up with hope and excitement as he shifted forward eagerly. "You'll give him a chance?”

Harry’s stomach knotted, a small tendril of guilt taking root. "I don't know." Harry replied cautiously, "As I said, I have questions."

Licking his lips, Eggsy smiled for the first time in months, or so it seemed, and rested his elbows on his knees. "Shoot."

Reaching out, Harry tapped at the open folder in front of him. Perhaps if Eggsy hadn't been blinded by his frustration and anger at Harry, he might have noticed his cousin's picture staring up from the pages. Perhaps he should speak to Merlin about a refresher course. "It says he was convicted for manslaughter. Not exactly the type of person we want, is it?"

Eggsy dropped his gaze and leaned back, sighing, “Look, it’s… - I’m not going to make excuses for what he did, okay, but he confessed, that has to mean something, right?” He met Harry’s gaze pleadingly. “And it ain’t like I didn’t have a rap-sheet, Harry.”

Harry chewed thoughtfully on his lip and stared down at the papers.

“He served his time Harry, and when he was released, he tried to sort himself out. He came to stay with me and mum for a bit, because he couldn’t face going back to Walford. He got a job, he looked to be getting himself straight,” Eggsy exhaled a long breath and turned to look out the window, his features filled with regret, “Then Dean got let out and…” he shrugged nonchalantly, “…he didn’t want Ben around. Said the place was already too crowded with me and Daisy. I tried to convince him to stay in Holborn, and for a minute it seemed like he was going to, he was crashing with my Aunt Tina, but then he just up and left.”

“He returned to Walford?”

Eggsy nodded, “Yeah. That was the last I saw of him until this morning.”

Harry hummed thoughtfully to himself, eyes scanning once again over the pages in front of him. He had to concede that Ben’s dealings were on the straight and narrow. At least until six months ago. “You hadn’t spoken to him at all since he left Holborn?”

Eggsy frowned, “I was a bit busy becoming a spy.” He pointed out, “He went home a little over a month before you dragged my arse out the fire and brought me here.”

“I would hardly call it dragging.” Harry smirked.

Eggsy smiled back, a soft one that touched his eyes and it made Harry’s heart flutter ridiculously. “Mum saw him at my aunts fu….” He trailed off sadly and swallowed. “All I ever got was a few postcards from France and Portugal, and a couple of texts to let me know he was alright after his attack. – I – I’m not exactly welcome.” He sighed.

There was a long silent moment as Harry watched Eggsy stare off into the distance. It was obvious he cared about his cousin, but then Eggsy was that kind of person. When he cared, he cared deeply. It was one of the reasons Harry had fallen in love with him. With that in mind, Harry wondered how Eggsy would react when he discovered the real reason Harry was considering allowing Ben into the fold.

Looking back down at the file Merlin had put together, Harry struggled with his own conscience. Would it really be so bad? If by some chance Ben Mitchell made it through training, then they’d have an agent already established within the organization. Not leg work. None of Merlin’s trickery.

And if the young man doesn’t make it? Well, if Eggsy was right and there really was a part of Ben Mitchell that could do the right thing, perhaps he’d help them anyway. From listening to Eggsy, it seems that the pair have a close relationship, perhaps Eggsy could convince him to help them bring down the Circle.

“Harry?”

Blinking, Harry looked up to find Eggsy watching him closely. Clearing his throat, he continued, “What about his father?”

Eggsy’s features hardened, as they had done that afternoon when Eggsy had first mentioned the man and everything he’d done to his son. “You’ve got his file. I don’t know what else I can tell you?” he shrugged dismissively. “The man’s a homophobic cun… - A waste of space.” He corrected himself politely.

Harry stiffened at the announcement, a cold familiar chill going through him. “According to this, he’s served time.”

“Not enough. Every god-damn time they get close, it falls apart. Usually thanks to members of my family stepping in.”

“Isn’t that what you do for family?” Harry asked, genuinely curious. When they’d met, Eggsy had refused to inform on his friends, and he’d always been extremely loyal. So, it was rather telling that when it came to his mother’s cousin, that steadfast loyalty seemed to vanish.

Eggsy grunted, shrugging. “It depends. There’s a big difference between droppin’ someone in it, and actively helping them get away with something.” He fell silent, eyes trailing over to the window, features pinched and thoughtful. “And it depends on the person.”

“I see.” Harry muttered, though he wasn’t so sure he did. “Is there something else. – You know you can talk to me about anyth…”

“Phil’s a piece of crap Harry, and I want Ben away from that before he does something he’ll live to regret.”

Oh, there was most definitely more going on here, and eventually Harry would get to the bottom of it. “It says here, Ben has a young daughter.” He asked carefully, “I would have thought, considering – what happened with your own father, that you wouldn’t…”

“At this rate Harry,” Eggsy snapped, meeting the man’s eyes. Eggsy was understandably sensitive when it came to the loss of his father, “Ben’s gonna get himself dead one way or another. I fink, his daughter would rather it be because he was doing the right fing. – At least she’ll be proud of him.” Eggsy licked at his lips and dropped his gaze to his hands, his fingers playing with the signet ring. “Then she’ll have something to live up to.”

Harry knew he was talking about his own past, and how he’d worked to follow in Lee Unwin’s footsteps. “But do you think he’ll even accept an offer to join Kingsman? He might not want to risk it.”

Eggsy met his gaze, “Honestly, Harry. I don’t know. Phil’s got his claws so deep, I…. – He at least deserves the chance, y’know. The same chance you gave me. – He ain’t a bad person Harry, he’s just trapped.”

“And in need of a silver depository.”

For the first time in a long time, Eggsy laughed, his face lighting up. His eyes softening as he met Harry’s across the desk. “You could say that, yeah. – With your help. – With Kingsman, I know he can sort himself out.”

“You’re that confident? – He has no training, Eggsy. You at least had a year in the Marines. Ben,” he tapped at the papers, “has nothing.”

“Ben’s got everythin’ he needs. He’s clever and, for the most part, he knows how to read people. He knows how to turn a situation to his advantage.”

“Meaning he’s manipulative?”

Eggsy smirked slightly and shrugged, “Aren’t we all? We manipulate marks and governments all the time to get the job done. Don’t act so high and mighty Harry. The only difference between us and him, is that he does it…”

“For himself.” Harry interrupted; brow raised in challenge. Daring Eggsy to deny it.

Eggsy shrugged. “Perhaps he just needs someone to show him a better reason?” He held Harry’s gaze meaningfully and once again, Harry’s heart skipped over itself. “I could work with him. Teach him what he... "

"That would hardly be fair on _your_ candidate, would it?" Harry pointed out smoothly, flipping the file closed.

Eggsy slumped lower in his seat, properly relaxing for the first time since this conversation started. "Right.” He stared thoughtfully at his shoes. “So, what, that’s it?” Eggsy sighed dramatically, looking at Harry though his long lashes, “You ain’t gonna give him even a chance? What’s been the point of the twenty minutes?”

“I never said that. – But if I do put Ben forward, there’s every chance he’ll be out in a week. Are you prepared for that? – Will he be able to handle it, one way or the other?”

Eggsy pressed his lips into a thin line and got to his feet, “I should get back t'my paperwork." He shoved himself out of the chair with a weak groan.

"Are you okay?" Harry demanded worriedly, eyes scanning Eggsy's form.

"Fine. Just ache."" Eggsy replied with that familiar ease Harry had missed, "I did spend all of last week running around downtown Russia."

Downtown Russia, as Eggsy delicately put it, had been a dark corner of Moscow, where Eggsy made the wrong turn, said the wrong thing, and unsurprisingly ended up getting his arse kicked, as Eggsy had put it in his initial debriefing. _“Not as badly as those arses I woz kicking.” _But he'd obviously return back a little worse for wear. "You need a break." Harry said, a hint of personal concern tainting his voice, "You've been working non-stop for months now."

Harry wondered, not for the first time, if Eggsy was throwing himself into his work in some desperate attempt to forget about his breakup. It had been months, but Harry knew how much Eggsy had cared about Tilde. As hard as it was for Harry to admit, Eggsy had loved the woman.

Eggsy slipped his hands into his pockets and shrugged, "ain't had much choice, 'ave I? We're down two agents, granted for two utterly separate and polar opposite reasons. Someone has to pick up the slack." He gifted Harry with a genuinely warm, reassuring smile.

"Well, hopefully we'll have an extra pair of hands soon."

Eggsy’s smile tightened, "Excellent.” He muttered, the chill back in his voice, “May I leave now, Arthur?"

And the calm evaporated, replaced once again with the tension. "Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of Ben in this chapter, but I promise he'll be back next chapter. 
> 
> Seeing as this is an AU, the timeline isn’t 100% canonical, especially in regard of Eastenders. I have Ben being out of prison a little longer than he was on the series to fit the Kingsman timeline, and it’s easier to manipulate EE than Kingsman in places. 
> 
> Also, it’s my personal head-canon that Chester King is Harry’s father, and always will be. 
> 
> Note for those who don't know Kingsman: There's a five year age-gap between Ben and Eggsy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder, this is an alternate universe version of events.

“Are you sure about this, Harry?” Merlin asked over a glass of Harry’s fine scotch an hour later. “It’ll mean extending the time for training.”

Harry whirled his glass. “Weren't you the one who said he'd be an asset? "

Merlin frowned; his features pinched as if he were drinking bitter lemon rather than the finest whiskey Scotland had to offer. "I know, and he would be, but..."

"You're not convinced he'd be a good Kingsman?"

"You can't tell me, you ain’t thinking' the same. With his record?"

"Eggsy's was not much better?"

Merlin glowered at him, "Eggsy never _killed_ anyone."

Harry pressed his lips in a thin line. He couldn't deny he was nervous about letting someone like Ben Mitchell into the hallowed walls of Kingsman, but neither could he deny that Kingsman had for too long been too cut off.

Tailored suits, charm and polished manners, might have worked for their predecessors, but the James Bond days were over. Governments weren't doing their own handy work anymore, and organisations like the Golden Circle were branching out into the lower echelons of society for their money and status. An Eton educated; Sandhurst trained agent wasn't going to cut it anymore.

The various branches of military intelligence had cottoned on to that, and so had Harry. It was why he'd recruited Eggsy's father, Lee. A good man with the kind of training and upbringing Kingsman would need going into a new millennium.

Of course, Harry had fucked that up by getting Lee killed, and Chester had ignored the truth and used Lee's death as some kind of proof that "_his kind_" weren't meant to be Kingsman. Something Lee's son had proven wrong splendidly 17 years later.

"Eggsy believes in him." Harry remarked finally with more confidence in his tone then he actually felt.

Merlin was silent for a long few seconds before releasing a world-weary sigh, "He'll need extra training. The others are already miles ahead of him."

"I trust you can get him up to par."

Merlin didn't look so sure. "And if I can't and he drops out? We can't keep him in simply because he's our way into the Golden Circle."

Harry nodded thoughtfully. He knew Merlin was right. "If he doesn't make it, then we come up with another plan. But you said yourself, this is too good an opportunity to pass up."

"I know." The Scot agreed reluctantly, gaze dropping to stare into his crystal tumbler. Watching the light dance across the surface of the amber liquor.

They fell silent, each staring off into the middle distance thoughtfully while nursing their drinks. They’d returned to Harry’s new Mayfair home, and Harry had immediately cracked open a fresh bottle of twenty-year-old scotch, while his old friend had made himself comfy. – Or at least as comfy as one could on a sofa that hadn’t been properly broken in yet.

Not for the first time, Harry missed his old house, as he repositioned himself yet again in the new armchair. It had taken him fifteen years to break in his old furniture and in the blink of an eye, it had all been destroyed, along with the rest of his possessions, including his precious dog.

Almost as if sensing his remorse at the loss of his long dead companion, his new one, ridiculously named Baby Pickles by Eggsy, leapt up onto his lap and made himself at home. Harry looked down at the thing and smiled softly, his fingertips scrubbing gently at the hair behind the small creature’s ear.

“Will you tell Eggsy?” Merlin asked lazily.

Harry lifted his eyes from where he’d been watching Baby Pickles sleep. The dog began to fidget uneasily as Harry became distracted by his friend’s question. "I don't know." He answered honestly, "Things are..."

"I know." Merlin muttered, "Have you tried talking to him?"

Harry shot the Scotsman a hard look, "Of _course_ I've tried." He replied harshly, glaring at his long-time friend with irritation, "The moment he returned from Sweden. He won't talk about it. He simply says things didn't work out. "

Merlin swirled his glass thoughtfully. "Have you...” he cleared his throat nervously and straightened a little more in his seat, “Have you at all considered telling the lad the truth?"

Harry stared, bewildered, “The truth? About what exactly?" Attempting to sound ignorant of his friend’s meaning.

"You know very well what. You should tell the boy how you feel."

"We're not having this conversation again Merlin." Harry said, shooting to his feet, much to the chagrin of his dog. "Nothing has changed, and I would appreciate...."

"I'd say Eggsy choosing to... "

"Merlin, _stop_!" Harry all but yelled. "Just..." He sighed wearily, "Just stop... - _please_. I'm tired. You can see yourself out. Good night Merlin" and with that he marched out of the room.

Dragging his old legs up the stairs, he lowered himself down on the edge of the too large empty bed, not bothering to change out of his work suit. He listened for the sound of the front door, trying to ignore the overpowering sense of loneliness as the house fell silent.

___(ee)___

The door swung closed behind him with a click that echoed through the empty flat. Sighing, Eggsy tossed his suit jacket over the back of the small armchair as he passed, padding across to the small kitchenette. Part of him missed the space of Harry’s house, but at the same time he was glad to be free of it. It had always felt empty, despite all the man’s possessions. – Or perhaps, _because_ of them. Especially on the evenings when Tilde couldn’t be there due to royal engagements. Then he would be left alone in a house that wasn’t his, haunted by the ghosts of missed opportunities.

But however hard living with those regrets were, Eggsy couldn’t have given the place up. It was the only thing he’d had of Harry. Of their all too short time together. Tilde knew how he’d felt, he hadn’t been very good at hiding it _apparently_, which was why she’d ended their relationship. _“It’s hard enough competing with a dead man, Eggsy. I don’t have a chance now he’s alive.”_

Eggsy had tried to convince her he’d moved on, but neither of them had believed it, and eventually he’d simply confessed the truth. _“He doesn’t want me.”_ That hadn’t been the right thing to say, or at least it hadn’t come out right, because the next thing he knew they were having a blazing row. Tilde was screaming about being second best. That she deserved better than him. That he should just leave before she had him beheaded.

He’d returned to England, and unsurprisingly Harry and Merlin had welcomed him home with open arms.

Tugging open the fridge he grabbed a cold can of _Fosters_ and let the door fall closed to the sound of rattling jars and bottles. He should probably eat something, but he’d lost his appetite. In fact, he wasn’t sure when he’d last had a proper meal.

Opening the bottle, he headed back to the sofa, dropping down with a grunt as he considered the question. It would have to have been over two weeks ago, before he headed to Russia. Sunday lunch with his mum and Daisy.

Settling back into the soft cushions of his new sofa, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He’d picked the thing because the second he sat down; he sank into it. Like getting a giant hug. But he’d had it for almost two years now, and it still felt… _wrong_. As hard and unforgiving as Harry’s furniture had been, it had felt safe and comforting. Welcoming in a way his big puffy sofa just didn’t.

Kinda the same way Tilde had, he shamefully thought.

Eggsy was pulled out of his own head by his phone and he groaned, rocking to the side so as to reach into his pocket. It was a message from his mum, and he felt his stomach tighten with anticipation.

**Phil’s awake. **

Eggsy exhaled a tired breath, groaning inwardly. As awful as it was, Eggsy had hoped the bastard would stay in a coma. – Or just up and die. His thoughts travelled back to the hospital. How close Ben had come to pulling that tube out, and it made him sick. Not because he gave a flying fuck about Phil. That man had lost any respect from him years ago. No, he felt sick at the idea that things had gotten so bad that Ben was actually contemplating murder. Cold blooded murder.

That was precisely the reason Eggsy wanted to get Ben away, because next time, Eggsy won’t be there to stop him, and then where will his cousin be? Back inside.

Eggsy couldn’t help but blame himself. He should have fought harder to keep Ben around. He shouldn’t have let Dean barge back into their lives after a two-year stint inside and just toss his cousin out on his ear. And he should have gone after him the second Jamal showed up and told him Ben had split. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know where he’d gone.

But he’d listened to Jamal and Ryan, and his mum, when they’d said he couldn’t make Ben stay. That Ben was his own person and if he wanted to go back to his dad, well there weren’t nothin’ Eggsy or anyone could do about it.

And then Harry waltzed into his life, turned it upside down, and as awful as it was…he forgot all about Ben. He became so focused on his own life, his own loves and losses. That he just let Ben fall to the wayside. He allowed himself to believe his mum and the postcards when they said he was doing great.

Tapping out a reply to his mum, a simple okay. He opened a fresh message and started to type. Whether Harry proposed Ben or not, Eggsy wasn’t going to just let him slip through his fingers again.

**Mum just told me he’s awake. **

It was a few minutes before he got a reply, in which Eggsy reached for the remote and switched on the TV, flicking through the channels before settling on QI repeats.

**Yeah. **

Eggsy pinched his lips and typed.

**Does he remember what happened?**

**Too early to tell. **

Eggsy stared at the message and took a sip of his beer, unsure how to reply. There wasn’t much he could say, really.

**How are you?**

There was a longer silence before Ben replied. Enough time for QI to finish and Would I Lie to You to begin, but finally his phone vibrated in his hand.

**You won’t tell anyone. Will you?**

**Don’t ask stupid questions. **

**Thanks bruv. It was just a spur of the moment thing, you know. I was just worked up is all. **

**Right. **

**It’ll be fine now. **

Eggsy sincerely doubted that. He knew it would only be a matter of time before Phil did something else, but he knew from watching and listening to his mum defend Dean over and over, that there was nothing he could say that would convince Ben to leave. To turn his back and find a better life. All Eggsy could do was give him an option and be there to pick up the pieces when it happened again.

**Well, call me if you need anything. Okay. **

**Night, Eggs. **

**Night, Bruv**

___(ee)___

Ben had hoped things would be better with Keanu out of the way, but he hadn’t anticipated him taking Louise with him. That had never been part of the plan. He’d just wanted what he deserved. Not the money, despite what he said, that wasn’t all that important to him, it was what it represented. The acceptance. The love. That he was his father’s son and heir.

It wasn’t that he had anything in particular against the giant brainless lug, and in any other circumstance they might have been friends, maybe. But the thing about Keanu Taylor was, he was a little too perfect. Righteous, brave, loyal, _almost_ honest, and worst of all, straight. Everything Phil wanted in a son. Everything Ben apparently couldn’t be, and it niggled away at Ben more and more until he couldn’t take it anymore.

His family probably thought the last straw was his dad cutting him out of the will; and part of it was. The Will meant he was part of the family, that he was Phil Mitchell’s son. But the hardest part, the thing that cut deeper, was watching his dad walk away from him as he lay beaten and bloody in the street. Despite everything his dad had said to him afterwards, the promises he’d made, the small carrot of hope that one day his dad would accept him for who he was, that memory of his father’s disgusted face as he walked away had lingered.

It was that memory that had pushed to the forefront of his mind as he’d stared down into that pit and watched his father bleed out. It was that memory that had him wrapping his fingers around the breathing tube.

And it was that memory that now played over and over in his mind as he stood in the street, disowned once and for all, tears burning at his eyes. His whole body was shaking with a mixture of anger and heartbreak.

It was his own foolish fault he knew. Persuading himself that his father could change, that if only he could prove himself, Phil Mitchell would accept him. Year after year he returned with fresh hope, always expecting things to be different. It was the literal definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.

And it was killing him. He was bleeding to death slowly, the same way Paul had three years ago. Blow after blow. A tear rolled down his cheek, though he wasn’t sure if it was due to the past or the present.

The sound of a car horn startled Ben out of his melancholy and he blinked off the blurriness, looking around to see a black cab. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the Slater house and a white-hot fire exploded inside him. Kat. It was _her_ fault. All she had to do was keep her fucking mouth shut. Well, he’d teach her.

With his fingers curled at his side, he turned and took a step towards the house.

“Ben?” A polished voice asked behind him, “Ben Mitchell?”

It took a few seconds for Ben to realise he was being called. He was on the threshold of the Slater property when he finally looked back and regarded the owner of the out of place accent. His gaze flicked over the tall old man. - Well not _that_ old. Probably about the same age as his mum. He certainly stood out in the middle of Albert Square in his tailored suit and umbrella.

“Who are you?” Ben demanded angrily.

The stranger smirked a little before tilting his head, “Would you care to accompany me? You look like you could be in need of a drink?” He gestured to the Vic with his umbrella.

Ben turned; brow quirked. “I said…”

“My name is Harry Hart.” The man introduced, “I’m a friend of your cousin, Eggsy.”

“You? Friends with Eggsy?” Ben continued to look the man up and down. He remembered the smart suit Eggsy had worn when he’d seen him a few days ago. “What kind of friend, exactly?” Ben smirked. It wouldn’t be unheard of for an old coot to lure a young man in with the promise of fine suits. It wasn’t something he went in for, and honestly, he thought Eggsy was too proud to be anyone’s sugar baby.

As if the man could read his mind, he straightened, suddenly serious, “We work together. Kingsman Tailor in Saville Row.”

Okay, that was more likely, Ben conceded. “What you want with me?”

“Perhaps if we…” He waved at the pub again, “I could explain.”

Ben clenched his jaw and looked over his shoulder, he really wanted to have a _word_ with Kat. The curtain moved and he caught a glimpse of Jean, or more accurately her floral headscarf and her pale fingers around the edge of the net curtain. Something in him broke at the sight of the frail sick woman, and all his righteous fury seemed to slowly seep away, like air from a balloon.

Inhaling deeply through is nose, Ben’s fingers relaxed, and he turned back to the stranger, Harry. Eggsy’s _friend_. “Alright, but don’t go getting any ideas, you’re not my type.” He grinned, winking as he strolled closer, “Though I could make an exception.” He said as he brushed past, catching a hint of expensive aftershave.

To his surprise, the older man chuckled. “I’m flattered.”

They strolled through the garden side by side and across into the Vic. It was practically empty, but a few regulars eyed him, probably wondering who the tall suited and booted stranger was, and just what he wanted with the local bad boy. – Something Ben wondered too.

“Why don’t you take a seat, I’ll get the drinks in.” Harry said charmingly. “Lager?”

Ben smirked, “_Carling_, yeah.” He strolled over to the corner booth and slid in with his back to the wall. After giving the room another glance, registering who was there, he turned his attention to Harry. Watching the man smoothly interact with Whitney.

Reaching into the pocket of is jeans, he tugged out his phone and opened his texts.

**Got some bloke here saying he’s your friend?**

Harry was returning with his pint as the reply came through.

**Tall. Handsome. Tailored suit?**

**Yeah. **

**J I think he’s got an offer for you. And if you have any sense, Ben, you’ll accept. **

_An offer?_ Ben frowned, _what kind of offer?_ He wondered as Harry took a seat and set the drink down in front of him. “What about you?”

“The lovely young lady said she’d bring it over.”

Ben couldn’t help but snort at Whitney Dean being described as lovely. “Well, I wouldn’t let her hear you calling her that, she’ll be dropping her knickers before your get a word in edgewise.”

Harry glared at him, “A gentleman does not speak of a lady in such ways. Manners Maketh Man.” He scolded.

Ben almost choked on his pint. “Whitney, a lady?” He scoffed, as the woman in question appeared at the table with a pint of Guinness. She shot him a murderous look that he easily ignored.

“Thank you very much. – And please excuse my companion’s poor manners, it seems he was raised by wolves.”

Whitney scoffed, “Phil Mitchell, close enough.” She shrugged with a cold laugh, eyes burning into Ben, before shooting the stranger a sweet charming smile. “You’re welcome.” Then she flaunted away, hips swaying a little more than usual.

Ben just rolled his eyes, “See.” He huffed, lifting his glass once more. “So, what’s this proposition? Eggs seems to think I’d be a fool to turn it down, so it’s got to be good?”

Harry’s eyes lock with his, “Eggsy?”

There was something in the man’s voice as he said his cousin’s name that tickled at Ben’s gaydar and he bit back a smile, lounging a little more in his seat, “You think I’m not going to check up on you? You could be a serial killer for all I know?”

The corner of Harry’s lip curved, causing Ben’s cock to twitch with interest. “Sensible precaution. Just the kind of thinking we appreciate at Kingsman.”

“Oh yeah?”

Harry nodded, sipping at his pint. “Which is why I’m here.”

Ben quirked a brow and waited, intrigued. What could a tailor want with him? Other than his epic sense of style of course. “We’re looking for a replacement for one of our top men, and…well, _Eggsy_ was under the impression you might like the chance to try out?"

Ben choked on fresh air, eyes widening with surprise. "Me, a tailor?" He scoffed, "I'm a mechanic, I don't know shit about cutting pieces of cloth."

"I'm aware, and usually we wouldn’t approach someone who lacked the relative skill set, however, Eggsy believes you would be an excellent addition to the company, and I trust his judgement."

"Oh do you?" Ben smirked, "And why would that be?"

Harry held his gaze, unflinching and apparently uninterested in rising to Ben's bait. Which surprised him, if he were honest. Ben usually had a knack for getting under _everyone’s_ skin, in some way or another. "It would mean you'd have to put in some extra training if you wish to contend with the other candidates." The older man added nonchalantly.

"Other candidates? You mean I have to _prove_ I'm good enough?" He snapped bitterly, "Do I look like a performing fucking monkey to you?" Ben raged. He'd had enough of trying to prove himself to old men. "You know what you can do!" He moved to stand, only to he paused by a text.

**Trust him. **

Ben was staring down at the phone, confused when Harry spoke. "You think I should simply give you the position, despite the fact you are remarkably unqualified? On Eggsy's recommendation alone?" He said flatly. "Does that seem fair to you?"

Ben lifted his gaze from the mobile in his hand and stared, his heart pounding. _You know your problem? You've always had everything given to you. You've never had to work for it. _His father’s words sprang fresh into his mind. It had been months since his father had berated him, saying he didn’t work hard enough. At the time, he’d tried to ignore it, told himself it was a lie. And it was. He’d worked harder than almost anyone in his family, including his father. He’s spent years doing all the heavy lifting at the garage while his dad sat back and reaped the rewards. If anyone got their life handed to them on a plate, it was Louise. Sitting up there in her ivory tower. And how did she repay their dad, by running off with his attacker.

Okay, so Keanu hadn’t _actually_ done it, but Lou didn’t know that, did she? All the evidence pointed to Keanu, and Lou had just up and fucked off with him. And was Phil mad with her? No. All he cared about was having his precious little girl back.

“Are you quite alright?” Harry asked, staring at him with pinched concern.

“Fine.” Ben snapped, dropping his cell back on the table and reaching or his pint. He downed half quickly. “You don’t want me.” He said breathlessly, returning the glass to the table. The anger and bitterness clear in his voice, but there was also a hint of sadness. No one ever _wanted_ him.

Well, except for Paul. Paul had wanted him. Paul had loved him unconditionally the way no one else ever had, or ever would again. His fingers went unconsciously to his ring, turning it. Savouring the way the warm metal dragged across the scarred skin. A constant reminder of what he’d lost. What the universe had taken from him. The punishment he’d reaped on himself. – Leaving him lost and lonely. God, he was so lonely.

“It is not a case of not wanting you, Mr Mitchell.” Harry said smoothly, “I merely wonder if you’re up to the task. Considering your – past.”

_Ah, so he knows about that, does he?_ _Of course, he would. No doubt Eggsy had filled him in_. “Where do you get off…”

“Eggsy believes that given the right _encouragement_, you could straighten your life out. That all you need is for someone to give you a chance to prove it. – To _yourself_.”

Ben stared, eyes heart racing. Eggsy had said that? Of course. Eggsy had always tried to help him. Always tried to keep him on the straight and narrow. He’d tried to keep him falling back under the dark festering influence of his father.

“Well, I’m here to offer you that chance. If you’re willing to take it?”

Ben pressed his lips into a thin line and stared at his phone as it lay there, dark and silent.

“And if you won’t do it for yourself,” Harry said quietly, “Perhaps consider doing it for your daughter.”

His daughter. Lexi. _You can’t change him, but you can change you. – For your daughter. _Jay had said the same thing. That he could be better. That he could break the cycle, if he just let go. Ben doubted his brother had becoming a tailor in mind, but – but maybe he needed something drastic like that. It had done wonders for Jay after all. The moment he’d stopped living under Phil’s shadow, - well, as much as one could in Walford, - he’d gotten his life sorted. All it had taken was a few people to believe in him.

“What’s the pay like?”

Harry lifted a brow, but there was a quirk to the corner of his lip that seemed to instantly make Ben relax. “That will be discussed at a later date.” He replied smoothly.

“That bad uh,” Ben scoffed, shaking his head. He glanced at his phone once more, somehow expecting another mystery text from Eggsy, or perhaps, if he were honest with himself, one from his father. – _I never want to see your lying face again. We’re done_. It seemed like hours, days, years since he’d heard those words from his father’s lips. It was hard to believe it had only been 30 mins. “So, say – I wanted to take you up on this – _offer_, what do I do?”

Harry set his empty glass down and reached the large umbrella he’d left resting against the end of the bench. “Be at the Kingsman tailors on Saville Row at 8pm.” Slowly the man got to his feet and straightened his jacket. “You’ll need only essentials, shaving bag, underwear.”

Ben frowned, “For a job interview?”

“As I said, there will be training required. You’ll be staying at our training facility for a maximum of 16 weeks.”

“What?” Ben gasped, surprised. “You mean I have to leave Walford? I thought I’d just get on the job training.”

“The choice is yours, of course. Just think of it as – going off to university.”

“And what am I meant to tell everyone?” Ben demanded.

Harry shrugged, “I hope to see you this evening, Mr Mitchell.” He held out his hand for Ben to shake.

It took a few seconds, but finally Ben gripped the hand. “We’ll see.” He replied, unwilling to commit to anything. He needed to think.

Ben remained in his seat as Harry Hart swaggered out of the Vic with a grace he didn’t think possible. He was like something out of an old movie. David Niven or Sean Connery. There was an air of mystery about the man that both intrigued and terrified Ben in equal measure. – And he couldn’t keep from wondering just what was going on between Harry and his cousin, if the older man was willing to ignore his obvious misgivings, on Eggsy’s say so.

“You not going with him?” He looked up to see Whitney smirking as she gathered the glasses.

Ben leant back in his seat and shrugged, “I guess I was a little too rough for his tastes.” He tossed her a wink, “Same again, Whit.”

Whitney chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Magic word?”

“Harder?”

Her nose wrinkled, but she chuckled anyway, “You’re disgusting.”

“And your jealous, cause at least one of us is getting a leg over. - When’s Soldier-boy coming home?”

Whitney had been blabbering on about some soldier fella she was in contact with. An old mate of Mick’s. He’d apparently turned up just as Ben was heading off to France, only to be recalled to the army a few months later. From what Ben could gather, nothing had actually happened between Whitney and lover boy, but she still called him her boyfriend.

She turned, fixing him with a hard stare, “Actually, he’s been promoted.”

“So, no time soon then?”

Her bright red lips, almost the same shade as her hair at this point, pressed into a thin line and she huffed out an irritated breath, turning on her four-inch heels and stomping back to the bar. Ben wouldn’t put it past her to spit in his drink, so he got up and cancelled the order.

Yanking open the Vic door, he stepped out into the warm August sun, gaze instinctively going to his father’s house, then to the Slaters. Whatever anger he’d had upon leaving his father had faded over the past forty minutes or so, leaving him simply tired. Tired of being the bad guy. Tired of being everyone’s punching bag.

He turned away from the square and set off towards home. The only place he genuinely felt wanted. He could really do with a hug from his little girl. – He also had a fair bit of thinking to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter. If you have any questions feel free to contact me via my Tumblr https://fanfictionbygatergirl79.tumblr.com/


	4. Chapter 4

“Thanks Harry.” Eggsy said from the passenger seat of the black BMW, the base slowly coming into view. “Now we just have to hope he takes you up on the offer.”

_“I’m sure he will.”_ Harry said through the crystal-clear connection of their glasses. _“I get the feeling he was at a crossroads when I showed up. I caught him at the exact right moment.”_

“I hope your right.” Eggsy sighed, staring out at the metal fence. “Any tips on how I’m meant to do this?”

_“The best part of recruiting from within the armed forces, is that you don’t have to give a sales pitch. As far as Mr. Highway is concerned, he’s being transferred. _ _Merlin has taken care of the hard part. All you have to do is turn up, wave your papers around and bring him back here.”_

Eggsy huffed, “Somewhat anticlimactic in comparison to my own recruitment.”

_“Perhaps. – But that day was filled with the unexpected.” _

Swallowing, Eggsy felt his cheeks grow warm. There was something in Harry’s voice that spoke to his heart, and his own memories of that day. It wasn’t about Kingsman, but rather them and the connection they’d forged that day. A connection that had regretfully begun to fray.

_“Good luck, Galahad.”_ Harry said after a long silence.

“Thank you, Arthur.” With that, he tugged off his glasses, slipping them into his top pocket of his uniform trousers, and straightened. His driver, Charlie, pulled up to the guard house and Eggsy lowered the window, holding out his ID. "Captain Gary Unwin Royal Marines to see Lt. Colonel Davies."

The young man regarded Eggsy stiffly as he took them, drawing his eyes away only long enough to look at the ID, before nodding. The Marine handed the small wallet back, then turned and headed into the booth, returning seconds later with a pass. "The Colonel will be in his office. If you'd like to park in the visitor’s car park and then..."

"This isn't my first visit, thank you Private. I know my way around." Eggsy replied stiffly, and the young man gave him a respectful nod before moving to open the barrier. "You heard the man, Charlie," Eggsy said with a smile as he rolled the window back up.

Leaving his driver with instructions to wait, Eggsy climbed out of the car and set his beret atop his head. It had been a while since he’d had to don the thing, but molding it into place had become second nature during training, and he stood stroking his hands over the dark green fabric while filling his lungs with the fresh cool air coming off the English Channel, staring at where the distant blue of the early afternoon sky blended seamlessly with the water.

With his beret perfectly molded to his head, he turned and set off towards the main building. It felt like a lifetime since he'd last been at RMB Chivenor. So much had changed. Not only with him, but with the world. On the surface everything seemed as if it were back to normal, but there was an underlying tension. It settled over the world like a thick rain cloud waiting to open and drench them all.

The last time he'd felt anything so palpable, prior to the Valentine incident, was after 9/11, when everyone was on edge, just waiting for the next attack. The fact that he'd only been young and yet remembered it as clearly as he did, said all anyone needed to know.

It had been five years since Valentine. Five years, but the scars were still there, along with an infection. Richmond Valentine's actions and allowed for certain forces to get a foothold. Something that had been proven by Poppy's ability to hold the world hostage.

Eggsy forced his mind away from those memories, for down that road was pain and regret. He would focus on the future.

A subtle clearing of a throat had Eggsy blinking out of his thoughts to find a female Marine holding the door for him, hand raised in salute. Quickening his speed, Eggsy returned the gesture and stepped inside. The smell of boot polish assailing him immediately.

Despite how many men and women were housed on the base, the corridor was eerily quiet. Sweeping his hands down his shirt front, then along his belt, Eggsy straightened his posture and put on the air of a Captain. - A rank he'd earned, so Merlin had said, simply not from serving in her majesty's armed forces.

Once he felt prepared to face the task ahead, Eggsy quickened his step, swiftly arriving in front of the C.O’s office. He gave a sharp knock and a loud enter echoed through the wood. Stepping inside, he was met with the sight of a smartly uniformed man, perhaps a few years older than himself. To their right was another door.

The second the man looked up from his desk and saw his uniform, he shot to his feet in salute. "Sir."

Eggsy once again returned the gesture, “Captain Unwin, Royal Marines. I have an appointment with Lt. Colonel Davies. "

"Yes Sir. He's expecting you." With that the man hurried over to the office door and gave it a short sharp rap with his knuckles. He waited for the loud voice of the colonel, then stepped inside, the door still wide open.

"Captain Unwin, Royal Marines, Sir."

"Show him in then.” His superior officer said in that terse way the higher ranks do.

Eggsy took a deep breath and marched in. He had only met Lt. Colonel Davies once, and he prayed the man didn't remember him.

"Thank you, Lieutenant Douglas." Davies said, eyes fixed on Eggsy. "Have Private Highway report to me immediately, would you?"

The young Lieutenant gave a salute and hurriedly left the room, closing the door behind him.

"So, _Captain_ Unwin..." The man regarded him intensely, "I'm glad to see you returned to service."

There was a hint of suspicion in the man's voice that made Eggsy nervous. "Yes Sir. I, I'm surprised you remember me, Colonel."

Davies leant back in his chair and watched Eggsy close, "I remember the men under my command who show the potential to become excellent leaders."

Eggsy's heart skipped at the praise. He'd left two weeks before completing training, and he remembered his Sergeant trying to talk him out of it. Telling him that the Lt. Colonel had said he'd be a strong addition to the regiment. Eggsy hadn't believed him though. "Thank you, sir."

"And it would seem my belief was correct."

Eggsy swallowed thickly, suddenly uncomfortable with lying to a man who'd had such faith in him. "Sir."

Then Davies relaxed, seeming to sink into his high-backed leather chair, "So, how are Harry and Merlin?"

_Wait what?_ Eggsy blinked, then frowned as he stared at the man in front of him. Davies stared back, unaffected. Then a slow smirk began to cross the man's features. "You know...?" Eggsy gasped, his posture relaxing.

"What do you think happens to recruits who fail to make it to the big table?" Davies said easily.

Eggsy gaped, he hadn't really considered it. He figured they simply went back to their normal lives. He knew that a few had remained behind, working in other departments, like his driver, but… "Are you still working for..." He didn't finish the question, because he didn't need to.

Davies leant forward, folding his hands in front of him. "I serve my country." He stated firmly, "But I also pass on names of potential candidates to Merlin when the time comes. It’s why I pay close attention to those under my command. "

_Oh_. "Like me?"

Davies smiled, "Especially _you_." He said warmly, "I was the one who recommended your father."

Eggsy's eyes widened, a wave of the conflicting emotions that always flooded through him at the mention of his lost father.

"And now you're here for Private Highway." Davies said, clearly sensing the sudden discomfort in Eggsy. "I have to admit, he's not someone I would have recommended."

Eggsy stiffened. "That's the point." He said flippantly, but quickly reminded himself where he was, and who he was talking to, "No offence Sir, but we're looking to shake things up a bit. New management."

Davies opened a file and scanned the pages, "His scores aren't the best, and he's not had much combat experience."

"Neither had I sir," Eggsy pointed out, "But people like me and Halfway, sorry, Private Highway, we have something better. We know how to survive."

"Yes." He muttered, eyes flickering over the page once more, “And you’re aware of his recent – injury?”

“Of course.” Eggsy replied. If Davies had been through Kingsman training and was now working with Merlin, he had to know that the Serjeant at Arms did full background checks on candidates. Eggsy knew all about the attack that had gotten three members of Cullum’s unit killed, and himself badly injured. “I also understand that he made a full recovery. – Or he wouldn’t be _here_.”

Davies looked at him intensely, "Well, he's _your_ candidate." With that he scribbled something on the papers and closed the file, before handing it over. Then he reached for the phone. "Send in Private Highway."

Eggsy remained where he was, eyes fixed on Davies as the door behind him opened and the sound of muffled stomping feet filled the air, as his old friend entered the room. When he turned, he saw Callum looking nervously at the Colonel.

"Private Highway reporting as instructed, Sir."

__(ee)__

Ben stood staring through the window of the Savile Row tailors, with its posh clothes and gold lettering mocking his working-class roots. He shifted his bag on his shoulder and shook his head. This was stupid. He wasn’t no fucking tailor. How the bloody hell could he be expected to work in a place like this? He was a grease monkey and a criminal. People like him didn't dress in nice suits and interact with the kind of blue-blooded toffs that shop at Kingsman.

_He knew what kind of clientele Kingsman had, because Lola and his mum had googled the place after he'd finished telling them about the job offer. Neither of them believed it was real, until they’d located the website and saw the type of people it catered to. _

_"And they want you?" Lola had scoffed, frowning at him across the table. "Why?"_

_Ben shrugged, "No clue. He just said Eggsy recommended me."_

_A look of confusion passed between them for a second, before his mum asked. "Michelle's boy?"_

_"He works for these lot?" Lola added, brows raised, gaze returning to the laptop._

_"I thought he went into the army?" Kathy frowned, getting to her feet and heading for the kitchen to finish making herself a cup of tea. _

_"Marines." Ben had smoothly corrected with a shrug, "He left when Dean went inside. I don't know how he got himself in with that lot, but..." He shrugged again with a sigh, "He texted and said to trust the guy, so I guess the offers genuine."_

_The two women just stared at him for a long few seconds before their eyes drifted back to the laptop. "Well..." His mum said slowly, "It'll get you out of Walford. - For a while, at least."_

_"And why do I need to get out of Walford?" He snapped, staring at the pair. He saw Lola shift in her seat. "I ain't got nothing to do with dad..."_

_His mum rushed to reassure him, "We know that. I'm just sayin' that... This could be just what you need. And it's got to be good money."_

_"Yeah." Lola said eagerly. "No more dodgy dealings."_

_"And what about the car lot?" Ben argued with a huff._

Both women had stared at him, their lips pressed into thin lines, and he knew what they were thinking. The place hadn't been exactly raking it in, and what money there was, well they all knew it wasn’t kosher._ "I talk Jay into taking it back from Max, I can't just...fuck off to some posh shop to cut cloth. - Besides, can you see me as a tailor?" He’d snorted. _

_"I don't see why not?" His mum sniped, defensively. "If it’s good enough for Eggsy..."_

_"And do you really fink Jay wouldn't want you to take this chance?”_

Honestly, he hadn’t been sure how Jay would feel. Things had been strained between them for a while, and he knew it was his fault. Between Ruby, his dodgy dealings and what had happened to his dad. - Sure, Jay had said he believed him, when he'd promised he had nothing to do with his dad's attack. But the look in Jay's eyes when he cornered him in the hospital, after he'd return from his drink with Eggsy, said he knew something was off.

His doubt must have shown on his face, because the next thing he knew Lola was on the phone telling Jay to come talk some sense into him.

Which was how he found himself stood there, twenty minutes late.

The hardest part had been leaving Lexi. They'd become so close over the past few months, and he couldn't quite imagine not being greeted by her bright smile and exuberant personality in the morning, for the next 16 weeks.

Taking out his phone, Ben frowned down at the missed calls from Billy and Sharon, no doubt to demand his presence at E20. As if he was going to continue to do his father's dirty work after being disowned.

After deleting the calls and switching the phone off, Ben slipped it back in his pocket and straightened his back. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with warm summer air. What did he have to lose?

Turning, he jogged up the stairs, shoving open the outer door. And then stopped.

Through a second set of glass doors was a tall man in combats, pacing nervously back and forth. His hand kept clenching and unclenching, and he looked like he wanted to throw up. - Or throw himself out the window.

Ben felt arousal stir to life in him. He wasn't usually one for tall men, his ego couldn't stand it, but..._fuck_. And his hands, so big. Ben could already imagine them wrapped around his...

His thought was derailed as the soldier turned his back, and Ben inhaled deeply at the way the bloke’s combats pulled perfectly over a firm round arse. Maybe being a tailor wouldn't be so bad, if he got to get up close and personal with the soldier’s inseam.

He was stood frozen to the spot admiring the view when the guy turned suddenly and saw him. His posture went rigid and Ben felt something flutter in his stomach. Clearing his throat and determinedly ignoring the uncomfortably familiar feeling, he shoved at the door and stepped inside, lips curled up at the corner, "Hey." He greeted, “I'm looking for Harry? Harry Hart? "

The guy shook his head nervously, "Sorry." He shrugged.

Ben tossed his bag on the brown leather couch and dug his hands in the pockets of his black faux-leather jacket. "Bit late for a fitting, ain't it?"

"Uh, I'm not here for a fitting. I - actually, I'm not sure _why_ I'm here."

"Oh?" Ben said, quirking a brow as he regarded the other man. "Ben Mitchell." He introduced, thrusting his hand out.

The handsome soldier took it without hesitation, and all the fantasies Ben had been having about that hand intensified, as his own was swallowed up in the man's warm palm. "Callum Highway." The soldier replied with a soft awkward smile.

To his surprise, Ben found himself reluctant to release the other man's hand, and it appeared Callum felt the same way. At least until the sound of footsteps and voices behind Ben filled the silence. Callum instantly snatched his hand back as if burnt, his whole body going stiff as he stood to attention.

Shoving his own hand back into the pocket of his jacket, Ben turned to face whoever had his new acquaintance suddenly so jumpy, frowning at the sight of Eggsy and Harry. Looking back at Callum, Ben's frown deepened when he noticed Callum was stood to attention, arms at his sides and gaze staring straight into nothingness.

“You can relax, Private.” Harry ordered.

"You're here." Eggsy greeted Ben happily, drawing the man’s attention away from the soldier, "That's good, bruv."

Ben shrugged, his gaze still flickering over to Callum, then back to the suited men. "What's goin' on here, Eggsy? I - I'm getting the feeling I ain't here t'be a tailor."

With another curious look to Callum, he saw a brief look of surprise and bafflement flicker across the soldier's face. Eggsy shifted slightly, and smiled, before glancing over to Harry, who stared back at him with a raised brow and what looked to Ben to be amusement. Ben felt something twist in his chest, a feeling of longing. It had been so long since he'd had someone to share those conspiratorial looks with. Someone who just seemed to - get him. No explanation, no excuses.

After a few seconds of silent exchange, Harry cleared his throat and waved his arm towards a door, "Shall we?"

Callum moved instantly without a single word passing his lips. He simply grabbed a large green duffel bag from the side of the leather sofa and slung it over his shoulder, the end catching on the table lamp. Ben reacted quickly, hands shooting out to catch the thing before it fell. Callum turned, stammering an apology.

“It’s alright.” Harry and Eggsy reassured together.

Setting the lamp to rights, Ben smirked up at the man as he turned to thank him. “You’re a right disaster area, ain’t ya?” Ben chuckled, sending him a wink. Callum dropped his face, cheeks going a little red, but Ben could see the corners of his mouth turn up in a small awkward smile, and his heart rolled over like a lap dog.

“Follow me.” Eggsy said, breaking the spell Callum’s shyness had weaved around Ben.

Callum moved first, more cautiously than before, his bag no longer over his shoulder, but rather at his side. If he’d been shorter it would have probably dragged across the floor, and that thought plagued Ben all the way to the oaken door.

Eggsy and Callum disappeared into the room, and when Ben stepped closer, Harry at his back, he frowned. They were led into a small room filled with a large mirror and a black leather chair, walls of deep green and polished oak. The first thing that popped to Ben's mind was that it reminded him of the funeral parlor, the second thought was, "What the hell's going on?" He demanded loudly from the threshold, looking at Eggsy accusingly.

"If you get in here, we'll explain everything." Eggsy said easily, looking calm and at ease.

Frowning, Ben cautiously took a step forward, eyes flickering around the room, before settling on an equally uncertain Callum.

Sensing their unease, Eggsy smiled warmly and shook his head, “Don’t worry. We ain’t brought yer here t’kill yer or nothink. This is…” He glanced past Ben to the man behind him, and then shrugged. “Do I have to give ‘em the whole My Fair Lady routine?” Eggsy asked.

“You gonna sing us a song, Eggs?” Ben joked nervously, “Cause if you’re taking requests, I…”

Eggsy’s attention snapped back to Ben, and he rolled his eyes, chuckling, “If anyone’s gonna start singin’ and dancin’ here, Ben, it’ll be you.”

He could feel Callum’s eyes on the side of his face and smiled tightly back to his cousin. “I ain’t done none of that shit in years.” He grunted.

“Shame.” Eggsy muttered, his features softening into something sad. “You were good.”

Ben scoffed, “Whatever. Why are we all stood in a fucking closet, Eggs?” he snapped a little too harshly.

There was a long tense moment of silence in which Eggsy looked back to Harry, and Ben tried to ignore the way Callum was staring down at him. Then his cousin exhaled a long breath and reached out, placing his hand against the large mirror.

Suddenly the room began to rumble. Ben glanced at Callum, who looked just as nervous and slightly fearful. "What's goin' on?" Ben snapped, only to fall silent with shock as the floor began to descend, taking them with it.

Ben couldn't help himself, his hand shot out and he gripped Callum’s arm, thrilled to feel solid muscle beneath his fingers. You'd never believe it to look at the tall slim soldier, but he had a set of guns on him, and frankly it took a hell of a lot of self-control not to spring a stiffy right there and then.

Desperate to distract himself from his desire for the man next to him, Ben focused on Eggsy, “What the fuck? What’s happening? You taking us to your kinky sex dungeon, Eggsy? Cause I may be gay as a rainbow but I’m not into that…”

Eggsy let out a long, tired sigh, “Firstly, sex ain’t the be all and end all, Ben.” He snapped, something strained in his tone.

Ben scoffed, “Sounds like the word of a bloke who ain’t getting any, hey Cal?” He elbowed the man next to him, looking up to watch the endearing way Callum’s cheeks went red.

Clearing his throat to Ben’s right, Harry seemed taller suddenly. “Perhaps you should explain.” He said tightly, his tone just as tense as Eggsy’s.

“Right.” Eggsy grunted, tugging on his suit jacket and straightening a little more. “Since 1849, Kingsman tailors have clothed the world’s most powerful individuals.”

“Good for them.” Ben huffed, uninterested.

Ignoring his cousin, Eggsy continued, his gaze fixed on Callum instead, seeing as how the tall soldier was listening intently. “By 1919, a great number of them had lost their heirs to World War 1. That meant a lot of money going uninherited, and a lot of powerful men with the desire to preserve peace and protect life.”

“As long as they’re not the ones getting their arses shot off.” Ben grouched, watching as the white concrete rolled past them. He looked up to the pinprick that was the room.

“Actually,” Eggsy grunted, annoyed and frustrated, “they did get their arses shot off,” He snapped, “generations of men have given their lives…”

“Eggsy.” Harry said softly from where he stood casually against a desk, hands in the pockets of his trousers.

Licking his lips, Eggsy pushed his annoyance away and continued, “Our _founders_ realized that they could channel that wealth and influence for the greater good. And so, began our other venture.”

“A sex club?”

“An independent, international intelligence agency, operating at the highest levels of discretion. Above the political and bureaucracy that undermines the integrity of government run spy organizations.”

Ben’s eyes went wide, and he looked between the two men, “Did you…? – Spy?”

“Yes.” Harry nodded coldly.

“Fuck off, no way.” Ben laughed, shaking his head. “You expect me to believe that your…” he stared at his cousin, looking him up and down, “…a spy?”

Eggsy held his gaze and slowly nodded.

“Who do you think saved the world from Valentine’s device and found the cure for Poppy’s tainted drugs.” Harry informed them matter-of-factly, looking over at Eggsy with so much pride it made them all uncomfortable.

“You…“ Ben swallowed thickly, eyes filling with tears as the memory of that day came back to him.

Eggsy held his gaze. “Yes.”

“Bit slow, weren’t yer.” Ben snapped, but there was little bit in his tone.

“I know. – I….“ Eggsy trailed off, knowing there was nothing he could say to make Ben feel better about what had happened.

The only sound in the small space for a few agonizingly long seconds was the scrape of walls and gears. The tension palpable, as Ben continued to hold Eggsy’s gaze. When the floor rattled, indicating it was coming to a stop, Eggsy cleared his throat, and straightened once more.

“So, uh, as I was saying, the suit is a modern gentleman’s armour…”

“I don’t think you need to finish the rest of the speech, Eggsy.” Harry said softly, moving to the younger man’s side, his hand resting on his shoulder. “I believe the gentlemen have the idea.”

Eggsy’s shoulders slumped, “My first fucking recruitment and I can’t even get the fucking speech right.” He grouched as the floor came halted.

Squeezing his shoulder, Harry stepped out first and strolled straight towards what looked to be a shuttle. Eggsy waved for him and Callum to follow, and Harry gestured at the seats. Ben watched, a smile curling his lips as Callum was forced to duck his head quite some way to get inside. Once the soldier was settled in the far chair, Ben slumped down next to him. Leaving Eggsy to take the seat next to his… well, whatever the hell Harry was to him.

“Huh, well this is nice.” Ben huffed, his bag on his lap. He elbowed Callum and shot him a friendly grin.

With a whoosh the door closed, shutting them inside the small tube, then there was a jolt so sharp that it forced Ben back into his seat, his head pressed into the cushion. It only lasted a few seconds and then the pressure eased, and he was able to sit forward once more. “What the hell was that?”

“G force.” Callum said matter-of-factly beside him.

Ben looked over at him, brow raised teasingly. “Is that like a G spot?”

Callum dropped his head, smirking and Ben felt his heart flutter. The man had to stop doing that, it was just too endearing. Needing yet another distraction from the handsome soldier at his side, Ben turned his focus on Eggsy and Harry, watching them sit stiffly side by side. Not speaking. Not touching. Not even looking at one another. Eggsy’s hands rested in his lap, while Harry’s elbows were positioned on the arm rests, his fingers folded across his stomach.

To all outward observers they looked like strangers rather than colleagues, which meant they were anything but. Ben’s spidey-senses were tingling. It was all right there in front of him, in every inch of their bodies. The way they weren’t quite relaxed, the way they didn’t looked at one another, or speak. In the way Eggsy’s right leg, mere inches from Harry’s left, seemed to vibrate with the need to move. Almost as if he was fighting against a magnetic pull.

And Ben knows all these small subtle signs because once upon a time, he’d been in Eggsy’s place. He’d had to sit next to the man he loved and pretend there was nothing there. That he felt no desire. No attraction. No feelings whatsoever. He had to pretend to be friends, and _only_ friends.

It had been three years since he’d lost Paul, but the memories were as strong as ever. A warm blanket he wrapped around himself on cold nights.

Ben slumped back in his seat as the floodgates opened. It wasn’t all that hard to bring Paul to mind, especially not lately. The anniversary of his death had only been a few weeks ago, and with Harry mentioning – that woman. The woman whose fucked-up plan for whatever it was she’d expected to get out of fucking with the world’s drug supply.

His dead lover’s face was right there behind his eyelids. They should never have gone to Glastonbury, but Paul had insisted. Said they needed to get out of Walford. Away from – _everything_. What he’d meant was, away from Phil and all the drama that came with him. So, off they’d gone. God, if only he’d known.

He swallowed thickly, tears burning behind his eyes.

Something knocked his elbow and there was a soft quiet, “Sorry.” And the image faded. Ben’s heart twisted as he tried to cling to it, just for a few more seconds.

But it was a lost cause. Another knock, his leg this time, and Ben couldn’t keep from turning as the sparks he’d determinedly ignored in his arm, shot up his thigh and into his crotch.

“Sorry.” Callum muttered again with a tight awkward smile as he forced his over long legs together and away from Ben.

Ben stared at him for a long breathless second, swallowing his suddenly racing head. "So, soldier boy, tell me about yourself." Ben said with forced casualness, his gaze travelling up the man's long legs to his flustered shy profile.

"I’m not a soldier." Callum replied, turning to meet Ben's gaze.

"Oh? You just got a uniform kink? Can't say I disapprove." He smirked flirtatiously.

Callum blushed. God, he was so easily embarrassed. Ben found his watery eyes focusing on the man’s neck, enjoying the red that spread across pale skin. Once again, he found himself wondering just how far that blush descended.

“Callum’s with the Royal Marines.” Eggsy said, cutting unwelcomely into their conversation. “He’s _not_ a soldier.”

Ben looked between the two men and shrugged, “What’s the difference?”

“Soldiers are army, Marines are – _Marines_.” Eggsy clarified.

“Oh, well then.” Ben scoffed, looking back to Callum, opening his mouth to continue questioning the handsome sol, _Marine_, but the man quickly cut him off.

“I’m a cook.” Callum added with more pride than was probably necessary.

“A cook?” Ben frowned, “As in…”

“As in he cooks.” Eggsy rolled his eyes. “For the... "

“Marines.” Ben finished, not so much as glancing over at his cousin. “So, you know how to handle a lot of men's meat. " he chuckled.

"Ben, shut up." Eggsy sighed wearily, but Ben ignored him, gaze feasting on the flush creeping over the other man's face, as he attempted to hide it.

Before he could say anything more, the shuttle came to a stop. He hadn't even noticed it had slowed down; he was so focused on Callum. Which wasn't a good sign.

"We're here." Eggsy smiled while Harry shoved himself out of the seat as if it were on fire,

"We're late." The older man said over his shoulder.

Ben looked to his cousin and saw the hurt, before Eggsy pushed it away and got to his feet. Ben followed him with his eyes, watching as he kept his distance from Harry.

"Ouch."

The muttered grunt of pain had Ben lifting his gaze to see Callum almost bent double, rubbing his head. "Want me to kiss it better?" He smirked.

Callum shot him a strange look before scurrying after Eggsy. _Uh, interesting_. Ben thought, gaze fixed on the Marine’s retreating back. He wasn't completely sure what he'd seen, but it was most definitely interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay for the benefit of this story, I’m going to take some liberties with Paul’s death, I’m sure some people will probably have issue with that, and I’m sorry. Also, I know Callum wasn't in the Marines, but I needed him and Eggsy to have known each other to make this work, as he wasn't exactly going to get picked for his military service, so you're just going to have to go with it. And it’s not like it’s such a big change. As for why Whitney referred to him as a soldier, well it's Whitney.   
I think this is probably a longer chapter than usual, but don’t get used to it, I simply didn’t want to break up the meeting of Ballum and the Kingsman introduction.   
As always, I’m happy to answer questions (for those who haven’t seen Kingsman), you can either leave it in the comments, or message me at Tumblr. https://fanfictionbygatergirl79.tumblr.com/  
As we’re so close to Christmas, I’m not sure I’ll get the next chapter posted before the new year, especially as personal issue has made it difficult to write lately.  
Finally, let me say, for those waiting for my Teen Ballum fic, I haven’t forgotten, but stuff has happened and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to type up my notes and get it posted. But I SWEAR I have it and I’m won’t forget it. It will get done.


	5. Chapter 5

Callum tried to ignore it. Tried to push the thoughts away, just as he'd always done. This wasn't his first rodeo as they say. He'd spent his whole life fighting off the feelings he got when handsome blokes gave him so much as a glance, let alone a smile.

And Ben Mitchell had given him more. He'd smiled, and touched him, and flirted, - it was flirting, right? He was sure it was flirting.

But how was he supposed to ignore the thrill that had shot through his body the second their hands touched? Or the way his heart flipped and fluttered every time Ben looked at him with that crooked cock-sure smile.

_The same way you ignored it with Chris_. He told himself. _Just push it down. Bury it. Pretend it doesn't exist. Then go home to your girlfriend. Just like last time. _

Girlfriend? That was a joke and a half. They barely knew each other. He'd only known Whitney a couple of months, before he was sent back to his unit, and while they'd gotten along, _eventually_, and had a laugh, it hadn't silenced or erased the desires inside him.

And it was torment, and punishment, because Whitney was beautiful and kind, and funny. She was everything a bloke could want, and she had chosen him. Him? Callum Highway. No man could be as lucky and grateful.

And yet here he was, again, feeling that pull. That desire. That _want_. For another bloke. Why? Why couldn't he just....

"You alright there, Callum?" Ben asked with a soft smile, and concern in his blue eyes.

The words stuck in his throat, and all he could do was nod. Ben continued to stare up at him for a few more minutes, then exhaled and jerked his head. "We should probably follow them."

Callum swallowed and blinked rapidly. Eggsy and the other man were heading for a door, while Ben was heading for a large window. instinctively, and without reason, Callum followed Ben. and had a passing thought, sensation? That he'd follow the man anywhere. Even to hell.

Ben let out a high-pitched whistle as they stared down at a large hanger. It was filled with all kinds of vehicles, from black London cabs, to a red route-master. There were planes and helicopters, motorcycles and boats. It was like staring down on the London Transport Museum. - He'd gone there once with his school. It had been fascinating.

"Gentleman." The older man called from the door.

"Hell of a garage you've got there, Haz."

"I'd prefer if you'd refer to me by my title, Arthur."

"Arthur, _right_?" Ben scoffed, slapping Harry's shoulder. "Lead on, _Arthur_?"

To say Callum was confused, would be an understatement. He'd been told he was being transferred to a specialist unit, he'd assumed, okay he'd _fantasized_, that it was the S.A.S. Of course, that had been ridiculous wishful thinking. What would the country’s most elite unit want with him? But that's what he'd expected.

He'd been surprised to see his old pal from basic training in the Colonel's office. Especially considering the last he'd seen or heard from the man; he was heading back home. He hadn't heard anything about him joining up again or being transferred, but there Eggsy had been, in uniform and with a rank. It was all so....

Bewildering.

“Callum?” Eggsy said, gesturing for him to follow Ben.

With a deep inhale, Callum straightened his posture and marched after the other man. He forced his gaze to remain fixed on Ben’s back, fighting against the desire to looked down at the man’s rear. He wasn’t going to do that again. Not now, not ever.

Chris had been – a reaction to the loneliness, and it had almost cost Callum his life. Shaking off the memory of that fateful day, Callum concentrated on the future. His new job, whatever it was, and Whitney.

“Galahad. Arthur.” Greeted a bald Scotsman. “You’re late.”

“Did you expect anything else?” Eggsy chuckled, shooting Harry a side glance.

The Scot huffed out an amused sound, turning his attention to Callum and Ben. “Gentleman.” He said flatly, “Please, place your personal items in these boxes. Phones, keys, wallets.”

“What? Why?” Ben demanded suspiciously.

The Scotsman stared, patiently waiting for Ben to comply.

“You’ll get them back, Ben.” Eggsy said with a sigh, “Don’t wan’ ‘em to get damaged or lost, right. They’re safe in the boxes.”

“What if I want to make a phone call?” Ben argued, glaring at the three men. “I promised to call Lex.” He said almost pleadingly to Eggsy.

Eggsy shifted uncomfortably, “I’ll make sure you get it back to call Lex, okay.”

Callum looked between the pair, taking note of the intense way they stared one another down. Something sparked inside him like flint trying to create a flame, and he turned his eyes away from them. Distracting himself from the argument and his confusing feelings, Callum bent over his Bergen and rifled through the side pocket for his phone and wallet, dropping them into the tin. As he did so, he tried not to wonder who Lex was.

“Fine.” Ben grunted.

Callum straightened in time to watch Ben toss his phone, wallet and keys into the tin, a disgruntled look on his face.

“You want my hearing-aid too?” He grumbled.

The Scotsman stared at him, unimpressed. “In you go.” He grunted, nodding at a door to their right.

“Good luck.” Eggsy said, as they both hitched their bags onto their shoulders.

“You can leave those.” The Scotsman said flatly, looking between the pair and gesturing to the bags. “You’ll get them back, once they’ve been searched.”

Ben opened his mouth to argue but seemed to think better of it. He angrily tossed his small rucksack on the floor, “Whatever.” He grunted and marched for the door.

Callum was gentler, setting his own bag back down with an awkward smile, then turning to find Ben impatiently waiting for him by the door, hand resting on the handle. Clearing his throat quietly, and determinedly ignoring the way his stomach did a flip, Callum nodded at the other man, and Ben shoved open the door, leading the way inside.

They entered a long grey room that looked almost cell-like. At the far end was a shower area, a row of sinks in front of a large mirror that almost took up the whole wall. In its reflection he could see a line of lavatories against the short partition wall. To their left and right were bunks, a locker to the right of each bed. It didn’t look much different from the billet he’d spent the past decade of his life in.

There was a small group of people already there, all of whom turned to watch them enter. None of them looked like the kind of people Callum would usually hang out with. They all looked to be more suited to the Officer’s Mess, and Callum shifted uncomfortably on his feet. Ben, on the other hand, didn’t seem at all bothered by the group. Strolling over to one of the unclaimed beds, he shrugged out of his jacket and tossed it on the top, before dropping himself down and stretching out; feet up and hands behind his head. He shot Callum a grin, nodding at the bunk beside his. Callum stared at it, uncertainly, then glanced over his shoulder to the only remaining unclaimed bed across the room. If he had any sense, he’d keep as far away from Ben as possible, especially in the dark. But then, Linda didn’t call him Halfway for nothing.

Turning back to look down at the bunk, a warmth spread through his gut at the idea of sleeping beside Ben. His mind conjuring up images to torment him. Before he could commit however, the door behind Callum opened and the Scotsman ordered them to fall in.

Hurriedly turning, Callum rushed to get into line beside the others, while Ben looked at them with confusion. Meeting the man’s gaze, Callum jerked his head to the space beside him, and with a small smile, Ben ambled up to his side, hands in his pockets.

“Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin.” Ben snorted, to which Merlin glared, continuing, “You are about to embark on what is probably the most dangerous job interview in the world.”

Callum felt Ben stiffen beside him, and he couldn’t help but shoot the man a sideways glance, seeing the concern printed across his face.

“One of you, and only one of you, will become the next Gwain.” Merlin stated, moving over to the end of the closest bunk, “Can anybody tell me what this is?”

Callum’s heart shot into his throat, beating painfully at the sight of the familiar green plastic. A vision of a hot desert filled his mind, along with screams of agony and the muffled sound of gunfire. Behind his back, his hands began to shake, and he clenched them into fists, palms sweating. He’d been so focused on Ben; he hadn’t even noticed the thing. To his right a voice answered, “Body bag, sir.” And an icy chill rolled down Callum’s spine.

“Correct.” Merlin inclined his head, dropping the thing back on the bed, and turning to regard the group. “In a moment, you will each collect a body bag. You will write your name on that bag. You will write the details of your next of kin on that bag. This represents your acknowledgment of the risks that you’re about to face, as well as your agreement to strict confidentiality. Which, incidentally, if you break, will result in you, and your next of kin, being _in_ that bag.”

“What the fuck?” Ben gasped.

“Is that understood?” Merlin asked, ignoring Ben’s outburst. “Excellent. Fall out.” With that, Merlin turned and strolled casually out of the room.

“Is he fucking serious?” Ben all but shouted.

Callum looked down at him with a shrug as those around them headed for their bunks.

“They can’t actually do that, right?”

“I –“

“Don’t look so worried.” Muttered a man beside them, his Scottish accent only slightly less prominent than Merlin’s. “As long as ye don’t say anythin’, there’s no reason for them to kill yer, right?”

They both stared at the man with wide eyes, surprised, “Are you fucking serious?” Ben demanded. “I thought I was comin’ here to be a fuckin’ tailor, not join some spy agency.”

The young Scot, though he looked to be about the same age as Callum, shrugged. “Well, you can always leave.” He muttered, turning to head to the bunk at the far end.

Ben glared after him. “Wanker.”

“I – If it’s any help, I think this is just a scare tactic.” Callum said, attempting to reassure the other man, “I heard they do it all the time in special forces training. S.A.S, you know.” He muttered, shrugging.

Ben looked up at him, doubt in his soft blue eyes. “Oh yeah?”

Callum cleared his throat, shrugging again, and marched hurriedly over to the end of his bunk. He stared down at the green plastic bag, his heart racing, his mind awash of memories. Swallowing thickly against the panic that was slowly rising in him, Callum reached for the small card, hating the way his hand trembled slightly. He wasn’t actually sure it was a tactic, and frankly he didn’t much care. He should have ended up in a bag two years ago, alongside the others in his unit. And as for his next of kin? well, he wouldn’t be losing sleep over the idea of his dad ending up in one too.

With the card in one hand, Callum moved around to sit on the edge of the bed and reached into the top pocket of his jacket, pulling out a pen.

“You’re that confident, yeah? That it’s all just mind games?” Ben asked, watching him intensely as he filled in the information.

Callum shrugged, refusing to look at the man. “Like he said, as long as we don’t say anything, it doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, but Jock out there…”

“Merlin.” Callum corrected sternly.

“Whatever,” Ben sighed, rolling his eyes dramatically. “He said signing this thing means I’m willin’ to risk my life.”

Lifting his gaze, Callum raised a brow, “Are you?”

Ben turned his head away from Callum’s searching gaze and stared at the body-bag, “I don’t know.”

___(K)___

“I should have told him what he was getting into.” Eggsy said, watching the monitor from Merlin’s office down the corridor.

“We told him everything he needed to know. Now it’s up to him.” Harry stated calmly from Eggsy’s side.

“After he was already on his way down here.” Eggsy grunted, shaking his head. “And we didn’t tell him about this.” He gestured to the screen where Ben was staring down at the small card. Occasionally, looking over to where the body-bag sat on the end of the bed.

“And now he gets to make his choice. The door isn’t locked, he can leave if he so chooses.”

They watch as Ben and Callum continue to talk. The taller of the two men already filling out the card. A second later, Callum held out his pen to Ben and Eggsy held his breath. The moment of truth. The fork in the road. As if in slow motion, Ben took the pen, his gaze never leaving Callum.

Eggsy exhaled a relieved sigh. “Thank fuck.” He muttered, closing his eyes and raising his head heaven words.

“He still has to get through training.” Harry reminded him, turning to leave.

“If you don’t think he can do it, why the fuck did you even bother putting him forward?” Eggsy yelled furiously.

Harry turned, fixing the younger man with a hard look, “Because you asked me to.” He stated.

A heavy tension settled between them, only broken when the door Harry was stood in front of swung open and Merlin strolled in. He paused, looking between the pair knowingly, before huffing out a breath and continuing over to his desk.

“Gentleman.” Harry said suddenly, inclining his head and turning to march out of the room.

With a world-weary sigh, Eggsy dropped his arse on the edge of the table and stared at the now empty space where Harry had stood. “Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”

“For what?” Merlin grunted, his fingers moving over the keyboard of his large computer.

Eggsy shrugged, “I wish I fucking knew.” He muttered, “Whatever it is I’ve done that’s made him suddenly hate me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, lad.” Merlin grumbled. “And you ain’t exactly been a pleasure to be around either, yer know?” he added after a second, gaze remaining fixed on the screens in front of him.

“Meaning?”

Merlin tore his gaze away from the large bank of computer screens to fix the young agent with a hard-judgmental look. “Don’t pretend ye don’t know you’ve been acting like a little shit since yer break-up. Nor that Harry’s been takin’ the brunt of it.”

Eggsy turned away guilty and shot to his feet. He knew Merlin was right, Harry wasn’t the only one to blame for their current estrangement, but it hadn’t been as if Eggsy was doing it on purpose, it was simply that every time he was in a room with Harry, and everything seemed to finally be settling down, his mind would take him back to that plane flight, Harry’s words ringing loud and crystal clear in his mind.

_“When I was shot, can you guess what the last thing was that flashed through my mind? – It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship. Never been in love.”_

Swallowing against the sudden flood of feeling that clawed their way to the surface yet again, Eggsy turned angrily, “Let me know what happens with the test. I’m going home.” He snapped, already walking away from the Scotsman.

In the corridor, he paused, leaning back against the wall and closing his eyes. Blindly, he reached up and tugged off his thick rimmed glasses and pressed his fingers into the bridge of his nose. Despite what he’d said, the idea of going home to an empty flat left a hollow feeling in his soul. So instead of heading back towards the shuttle, he headed for the stairs, deciding his office would be a better option.

__(ee)__

Ben pressed his lips together and sat on the edge of the bed, the card still between his fingers. His mind was filled with doubts. When he’d packed that afternoon, he’d expected to come and learn to cut suits. Now it seemed he was going to be learning something entirely different. Part of Ben was intrigued by the idea of being a spy. He’d grown up watching Bond movies because Jay and his dad loved them, but while his brother had wanted to be an international man of mystery, Ben would have preferred to be a Bond ‘_Girl’_. Especially once Daniel Craig took over.

Maybe he could be Bond, _and_ a Bond Girl? He lifted his gaze to stare at Callum. He could just imagine him all dressed up in a Tux, sat at a Casino table, Martini in one hand, Ben’s thigh in the other, as they scanned the room for their target. An infamous international criminal.

The corner of Ben’s lips curled, only to fall again when a realization occurred to him. He wouldn’t be at Callum’s side, for two reasons. One; there was only one place to be filled, which meant either he or Callum, – or both, would be going home.

And two; Ben was more likely to be that international criminal Callum was hunting. He had worked with traffickers and dealers, car thieves and murderers. He wasn’t cocky enough to think he was the next Dr No, but he had his contacts. – Or at least his dad did. And here he was, sat in the basement of a place that wanted to bring them to justice. It was almost like a sick joke.

He couldn’t do this. His dad would never forgive him. - _I never want to see your lying face again; _His father’s voice echoed angrily in his head_. do you hear me? We’re… _

“Ben?” He looked up to see Callum stood above him, a look of concern on his handsome features, and a pen held out to him. “You alright?”

Clearing his throat, Ben blinked back tears he didn’t realize he was still capable of shedding and snatched the pen from the other man’s grip. “Fine.” He replied harshly and began to scribble his name on the card angrily. If his dad didn’t want to know him, that was just fine. It simply meant he didn’t need to continue to be loyal to the man. He didn’t need to put his father’s business interests before his own wellbeing. – And he didn’t need to keep trying to be the man his father wanted him to be.

With his name signed on the card, he tossed it aside and looked up, his heart giving a little flip at the sight of Callum, still stood in front of him, concern still in his eyes. Ben’s lip curled at the corner and he handed the pen back, “fanks.” He said, warm and quiet, for Callum’s ears only.

Callum held his eyes as his fingers closed around the biro. They were back in that bubble again, and Ben felt that strange sensation of comfort and safety settle through him. It was awkward, but nice. It had been a long time since he’d felt anything like it. Not since….

“Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen.” Announced Merlin through the speakers.

And like that, the bubble burst. Callum blinked and then quickly turned away. A blanket of regret settled over Ben, but he tried to ignore it, instead focusing on the curve of the man’s arse.

“Training starts at 6am, so it’s an early night. Lights out in twenty minutes.” Merlin said, his strong Scottish brogue echoing off the concrete walls. “Place the body-bags in the bottom of your lockers. You’ll also find a change of clothes in there.”

“What about our stuff?” Ben yelled, not sure if he expected a reply or not.

“Your things will be returned to you in the morning.” Merlin replied flatly. “Fifteen minutes. I suggest you hurry and get ready fer bed.”

Around him, everyone started collecting their things and stripping. Ben watched with varying degrees of interest. At least until he saw movement to his left, as Callum opened the locker. Ben looked up as the man pulled out a set of grey pyjama bottoms and a white t-shirt. He swallowed thickly and shifted just enough to ease the sudden tightness in his jeans. As Callum stepped back, closing the locker door, he shot Ben a glance. Ben’s breath caught at the flush on the other man’s cheeks and the shyness in his eyes. He’d never met anyone light Callum in his life. – Paul could never have been described as shy.

Shooting to his feet, Ben marched quickly around the bed, snatching up his body-bag as he went. Yanking open the locker, he tossed the heavy plastic at the bottom and reached for the pile of clothing. It took him a few seconds of rifling through the fabric to find his size. When he turned back, throwing the door shut, Callum was stood shirtless across the bed. The long expanse of bare pale flesh on show, the light grey pants hanging low on his hips, but what really caught Ben’s attention was the scarring on his left side. He couldn’t help but stare, a thousand questions rolling around in his head.

Callum must have felt his gaze, because he hurriedly shrugged on his t-shirt, shooting Ben an embarrassed look over his shoulder, before yanking the covers of his bed free and climbing in, his back to Ben as he made himself comfortable.

Turning away from him, Ben quickly changed and hurried over to the toilet to relieve himself, before climbing into bed too. He lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling tiles, wondering why he’d agree to this, and what had caused those scars on Callum’s side.

All too soon, the room was plunged into darkness, and Ben inhaled slowly. “Night Callum.” He whispered gently, not really expecting a reply.

“Night Ben.” The other man whispered back, and Ben’s heart gave a little leap.

“Night John-Boy.” Came an over the top southern accent.

“Fuck you, Groundskeeper Willie. Hope you piss the bed.”

The man snorted a laugh, and Ben smirked, turning his head in Callum’s direction, to find the man was also stretched out on his back. Rolling over, Ben found himself staring at Callum’s profile until his eyelids grew too heavy, and sleep pulled him under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who don’t know, the flashback where Harry states he’s never been in love is a genuine scene from Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle, and it ripped my heart out, because he was obviously lying. 
> 
> Now, seeing as it’s Christmas, I won’t be getting back to this fic until the new year. So I’d like to wish all my readers a wonderful festive season, and I hope you all have the best time you possibly can. I’ll see you next year. <3 <3 <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder this is an alternate universe version of events where Callum did not return to Walford after his return to the army.

Harry closed his office door with more of a slam than he’d intended and winced at the sound. He stood there for a few seconds, eyes closed, trying to control the wave of anger that rolled through him. The pain was back behind his eyes and he stumbled to the sofa while shrugging out of his jacket. Tossing the thing over the arm, Harry dropped down like a sack of potatoes onto the worn leather with a tired sigh.

Seated, Harry tugged his tie lose and let his head fall back, eyes closing once more. The incessant throb behind his eyes an almost constant companion these days. Lazily, Harry lifted his hand and pulled off his glasses, dropping them unceremoniously into his lap before pinching at the bridge of his nose and rubbing at the damaged flesh and bone around his left eye.

The silence of the room usually helped, would have done so now if not for Eggsy’s voice ricocheting around his head. _“If you don’t think he can do it, why the fuck did you even bother putting him forward?” _

A thick wave of nausea hit Harry and he inhaled deeply through his mouth, attempting to shake it off, but it seemed stubbornly determined to remain. It wasn’t made any better by the heavy weight of guilt Eggsy’s words conjured inside him.

Pushing himself out of the sofa, his glasses tossed on the empty cushion beside the now abandoned seat. He made his way cautiously over to the window and opened it, allowing a wave of fresh country air to fill the usually stuffy room. He paused there for a moment, hands in his pockets and stared out over the vast Kingsman estate, the pristine grass surrounding the manor house tinged golden by the setting sun. He wished he could appreciate it in its full splendour, but it was difficult when he only had half the view. Once more he lifted his fingers to his damaged eye and turned away.

Making his way over to the small drinks cabinet in the corner Harry poured himself a large scotch, then grabbing both bottle and glass, he made his way carefully back to the sofa. Despite knowing his way around the office almost as well as he knew his own home, he was always nervous of tripping. Especially when his head was aching.

Taking a seat, he took a long sip of his drink and set the bottle on the small end table. He shouldn’t be drinking, he knew, the doctors would have his guts for garters if they found out. They’d remind him frustratingly that he should instead be taking two of the pills they’d given him and laying down in a darkened room with a cool cloth. – Except that would do little to block out the sound of Eggsy’s voice, or the memory of his body so close.

It felt like forever since they’d sat side by side on their way from the shop, and doing so today was a level of torture Harry hadn't been prepared for. He’d felt the warmth of Eggsy’s thigh, not quite touching his own. He’d tried his best to ignore it, but the harder he tried to keep a gap between them, the more difficult it was to not think about how desperately he wanted to press his leg closer. Press his _body_ closer. To reach out and pull Eggsy across that small divide and finally kiss him. - Thankfully, Eggsy's recruits were there to act as a distraction and buffer.

With a sigh Harry sipped at his drink, his heart swelling with pride once again at the memory of Eggsy delivering the same speech he'd given all those years ago. Seeing him stood there, in his best suit, had done things to Harry's insides and set off a plethora of fantasies. Fantasies that had been easily chased away by Ben Mitchell's dismissive tone.

And like that, Harry's thoughts turned to Eggsy's cousin. Sitting forward, Harry leant on his knees, glass cradled between his legs in both hands as he considered the young man. If he were honest, he hadn't expected Ben to turn up. Or perhaps he'd been hoping he wouldn't. That way he wouldn't have to deal with Eggsy's disappointment when he eventually got cut, assuming he didn't quit or break under the pressure.

There was also the issue of Eggsy's anger when he discovered the real reason they'd accepted Ben's candidacy, and Harry wasn't naive enough not to expect Eggsy to remain ignorant of the facts forever. He feared what the truth would do to their already fragile relationship. The obvious outcome being its complete and utter destruction. But they couldn't pass up the opportunity Ben resented.

And who knew, the young man might surprise him and make it through. Hadn't Chester expected Eggsy to fail because of his upbringing? Was he being equally judgemental and harsh? Perhaps Ben would surprise him, as Eggsy had surprised Harry's father.

Pushing himself off the sofa, Harry strolled over to his desk, glass and bottle in his hand. Taking a seat, he hit a buttom on his desk and across the room, the large monitor came to life, revealing the recruits, all bathed in the greenish glow of night vision cameras. All fast asleep. Harry settled back and waited.

__(EE)__

_The music floated through the air, whirling around him. He’d never felt so free. So alive. His whole body buzzed. He couldn’t keep from moving to the music. In front of him, Paul glowed an electric blue, he could see it crackling beneath his tan flesh. He’d been right, the ecstasy had made everything better._

_Paul leaned in, capturing Ben’s lips and he felt as if he were melting, almost turning to water. Cold water. All around him. Pulling him under. Stealing his breath. In front of him, Paul began to drift, hand outstretched, beckoning to him. An ethereal blue light growing, so alluring, just as Paul had always been to him. _

_The water grew colder, and with it, his body began to shake. _

_“Ben.” A voice called through the water and he squinted into the darkness, the shimmering blue off in the distance, beckoning him. Paul. He could feel himself slowly succumbing to the cold and darkness, his focus on the blue glow. On Paul. Felt it pulling him towards it, into the dark, and he was glad of it. Paul. He wanted to be with Paul. Life had been so empty without him. _

_“Ben.” The voice came again. Not Paul’s voice though, yet familiar. Comforting. Warming him from within. Making his heartbeat again. – He hadn’t even realised it had stopped, but now it pounded demandingly at his ribs. _

_In the dark din of the cold endless ocean, Paul drifted, a soft resigned look on his face, the blue electric light that crackled beneath his skin, fading the further away he floated. Ben opened his mouth to call for him, beg him to come back. _

_Suddenly, there were arms around him, dragging him away from the dark depths and into the light._

Ben gasped as he broke the surface of the water, eyes blinking away droplets as he tried to full his lungs. He coughed away the water that rippled beneath his chin.

“Ben, you need to take a deep breath. The water is still rising, Ben.” A hand landed on his shoulder, shaking him, and drawing Ben’s attention to the waterlogged man. “Ben, fill your lungs. I know it’s hard, but we’ve just got to get to the pipes.” Callum ordered, eyes blinking rapidly against the water in his face. “Ready?”

Ben looked around confused, uncertain where he even was. His heart hammered uncontrollably in his chest, and his lungs burned. How could he possibly be expected to hold his breath, his lungs wouldn’t even allow him to take in air. As the water rose an inch higher, he tilted his head back and closed his eyes. Perhaps it would be better to just succumb to the empty. Return to Paul in the darkness.

He felt the rough scrap of the ceiling tiles against his forehead and suddenly panic began to take hold. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to leave his mum, or Jay, or Lola. – And he most certainly didn’t want to leave his little girl. His princess. Not now. He didn’t want her to go through what he’d gone through when he’d lost his mum.

A warm hand landed on his neck, “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Whispered a breathless, soothing voice. “Stay with me, okay.” Callum ordered, his fingers surprisingly warm against Ben’s cold flesh. Ben found his gaze and felt himself relax, the panic easing at the confidence in the other man’s blue eyes.

“Take a deep breath.” Callum said softly, “Trust me.”

Ben was surprised to find that he did. Despite only knowing the man less than a few hours, he couldn’t deny there was something in Callum Highway that made Ben want to give himself over. He gave a sharp nod and followed Callum’s lead as the man tilted his head back and inhaled as much air as he could, before pressing his lips into a thin line.

Ben had never felt anything like it, the pain, the burning as he held his breath and swam, following Callum. He tried to focus on something else as he moved. On Callum, on the size of his feet as they flip flapped in front of Ben’s eyes. On the way the man’s grey sweatpants were being dragged down by the water as he made his way through it, but nothing remained in his mind long enough to properly distract him.

Ben had never been the strongest swimmer in the world, and that was proven by the aching in his arms as he dragged himself through the water, but he kept moving. For Lexi. For his family. – For Callum.

Eventually they reached the end of the room, and Ben frowned as he watched the others frantically tearing the shower pipes from the wall and shoving them down the bogs. Callum signalled for him to do the same, already tearing at his own shower. Despite his confusion, Ben followed Callum’s lead. He took the pipe and sunk down to the toilet and began to feed it through the U-bend. Right in front of him, Callum lifted his own pipe to his lips and inhaled, causing Ben to wince. His face contorting with disgust.

When Ben caught Callum’s eyes, he found amusement in them, and if it weren’t for the fact that he might drown, he would have laughed. Instead, he looked down to the toilet and then against his better judgement, lifted the pipe to his lip and hesitantly took a breath.

To his surprise, fresh air flooded in, and he felt himself relax. He couldn’t keep from shooting Callum a grateful smile, that the man returned, eyes softening as they help Ben’s own gaze. Time seemed to slow as he stared at Callum while he breathed in cool air. Occasionally, Ben would glance over Callum’s shoulders to the others, all seemingly happy to just float at the bottom of the room breathing through a toilet. It was probably one of the most surreal experiences of Ben’s life.

As the seconds ticked by, Ben tried to remain calm, listening to his heart beating in his head. He realised his hearing aid was probably fucked and would no doubt need a new one. Well, whoever was responsible for this flood could fucking well pay for it, or so help him god, they were going to….

He was still plotting his revenge on the Kingsman plumber when he realised the water was draining away. He felt his arse hit the floor and ripped the pipe from his lips, coughing and splattering, droplets in his eyes once more.

He’d leap to his feet, but he felt off balance, no doubt down to his missing hearing aid, and the water clogging his good ear. He reached up and rubbed at his ear, inwardly wincing at the uncomfortable sensation. He shook his head and looked to his left. Callum stood there looking like a drowned rat, his clothes clinging to his body. Now that the terror of the situation was over, his libido decided to come back out to play, and he couldn’t help but appreciate the toned muscle that was clearly defined beneath the waterlogged fabric.

“You alright?” Callum asked, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he obviously tried to regain his breath.

Blinking, he looked up at the man through one eye. “What?”

Callum frowned, leaning closer slightly, “I said are you alright?”

Ben watched his lips, fully appreciating how soft they looked as he read them. “Oh, yeah,” he said a little too loudly, “Apart from fucking drowning, yeah, I’m tickety boo.” He grouched, dropping the tube and reaching down to wring out his t-shirt.

“What’s wrong with your eye?” Callum asked, genuine concern in his voice. When Ben didn’t answer, he tapped his shoulder. When Ben looked up, he repeated the question, adding, “And your hearing?” He wiggled his finger around his own ear.

Ben sighed, “Oh, I lost a contact, and my ears are just blocked.” He lied, not wanting the others to suspect. He’d learnt that lesson in prison. He rubbed at his right ear again, shaking his head. Finally sound began to return and he exhaled a relieved breath. He’d secretly always feared losing his whole hearing.

It returned just in time to hear Callum’s soothing voice ask, “You wear contacts?”

Before Ben could come up with a flirtatious reply however, the somewhat muffled sound of a lock disengaging drew the groups attention. A gasp echoed through the room, and Ben squinted, trying to see through his one good eye, which forced him to turn his head a little to the left. Whatever it was he couldn’t quite see, was bad enough to have everyone eerily silent. He turned his whole self to face Callum, and found the man staring, his previously flushed face now ashen.

“You alright there, Cal?”

The Marine said nothing, his lips instead flattening into a thin line. Ben’s frown deepened and he turned back in the direction of the door, just in time to see a blurry figure step inside.

“Congratulations on completing your first task.” Merlin announced, his gaze flittering between everyone, “But before you all go and pat yourselves on the back, as far as I’m concerned, Callum was the only one that passed. The rest of you forgot the most important thing. _Teamwork_.” Merlin dropped his gaze to the floor. Ben still couldn’t make out what everyone was looking at, but he thought he could guess.

“Follow me.” Merlin ordered, turning on his heels and marching out of the room.

His suspicions were proven true when one by one, the remaining recruits followed. A few pausing to stared down at what Ben finally discovered _was_ in fact a body. As he stepped up beside it, he could see it a bit clearer, and the shock of red hair told him instantly that it was the young Scot. Just as Ben moved to follow the others, he noticed Callum hovering, eyes fixed on the motionless form.

Ben stopped and watched as the man just stared down at the dead body, “Callum?” He said softly, stepping up to his side, reaching for his arm.

Callum startled, head snapping around to stare down at Ben with wide shimmering eyes. Ben’s chest tightened at the shocked lost look in Callum’s gaze, and he had to fight the desire to reach up and pull him into a hug. Instead, he curled his fingers around the man’s wrist and gave it a little tug, “Come on, before Scotty boots our arses out of here.” With that he reluctantly turned and dragged Callum to the door, only dropping his hand as they exited the room.

Merlin was stood with the rest of the recruits a little way down the corridor, clipboard in hand and a pinch impatient look on his face. “When you’re ready gentleman?”

Ben smirked, “Sorry, boss, was looking for my contact. No luck.” He shrugged.

Merlin looked from Eggsy to Callum knowingly, then inclined his head and turned to open a door. Then waved everyone inside. “Get changed and get to bed, you still have training tomorrow.”

“How’d we know this place ain’t got a burst water main too?” Ben grunted as he passed the man. The room a complete mirror image of the one they’d just left, minus the dead body.

Merlin looked down at him stoically, leaning forward a little, “You don’t.” he said in a low voice.

Ben stared at him for a second then laughed, rushing over to the bed where his bag sat on the floor. Ben lifted it and turned to send a look at Merlin, who simply stared back at him, brow raised in challenge.

“My phone ain’t in here?” Ben snapped after searching through his bag for his glasses. He really should have brought his spare contacts. - Maybe he could get Eggsy to fetch him some? Really, he should think about laser surgery. All this faffing about was beginning to wear thin.

“Phones are contraband.” Merlin informed him matter-of-factly.

“Eg…”

Merlin hurried to interrupted him, “Everyone will be given thirty minutes monitored phone time every evening.”

“What?” Ben gaped, turning to glare at the Scotsman. “E…”

Merlin cleared his throat and straightened a little more, “Let me remind you all, your recruitment is confidential. You will not discuss who nominated you for this position.” His eyes burned warningly into Ben’s, who shrugged and turned back to his bag, “Bit late for us though, in’it Cal?” He glanced over to the bed next to him and found the Marine stood there, staring at his bag. Leaning over he gave the man a poke in the shoulder. “You alright?”

Shaking his head, Callum blink, “What? Yes. I’m fine.” Then he seemed to spring into action, tearing off his wet clinging t-shirt and reaching for a fresh dry one. Ben’s stared at the scar embedded across Callum’s side. The flesh was mostly white, standing out against already pale skin, but there were inches where it was red and puffy, clearly not completely healed yet. Ben wondered how he’d gotten it. War obviously, but Callum had said he was a cook.

Then it was gone. Vanquished beneath dark green cotton. He opened his mouth to ask Callum about it but was cut off by the cool Scottish brogue of Merlin. “Lights out in five.” Ben shot the man a frustrated glance and by the time he looked back to where Callum had been stood, the man was gone. Hurriedly settling himself into his bunk.

He guessed his questions had to wait. Exhaling a long sigh, Ben grabbed his bag and tossed it into the bottom of the locker, then quickly stripped. The heavy door of their cell slammed shut and he shot a weary look at it, before glancing down at the bed next to his own. Callum was facing away from him, cover practically pulled over his head. With a sigh, Ben made himself comfortable on his back, staring up at the ceiling. A few minutes later the room was plunged into darkness, but Ben didn’t close his eye, instead he lay there for a while longer, a thousand thoughts whirling around his head. Many of them concerning the man next to him.

__(K)__

Eggsy hovered around the corner, watching as the recruits sloshed out of the room, clothes soaked through. He didn't miss training one bit, though he hadn't left that room on his feet. He and his fellow recruits had flooded out of that room on a wave of water. The memory had him flexing his fingers.

The moment the last recruits, who happened to be Ben and Callum, disappeared around the corner, Eggsy headed for the door, glass of scotch in one hand. The room was still shimmering with left over water when he stepped inside. Glancing around, he exhaled a deep sigh and made his way over to the body. He stood a moment staring down at the man for afew seconds before nudging at his ribs cautiously with the tip of his shoe. "You can get up now. They've gone." When the body didn't move, Eggsy gave an exaggerated sigh, "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to tell Tequila you won't be able to make it to Kentucky, due to an extreme case of drama-queen-itos. I'm sure he'll find someone else to entertain for the next couple of weeks.

Eggsy smirked as Esca rolled onto his back and opened his eyes. "I was just being cautious." He informed Eggsy in his smooth Glaswegian accent. He smirked up at the spy, holding his hand up for help. Eggsy quickly obliged, tugging the man to his feet. When he let go, he reached for the towel hanging over his shoulder, and handed it over.

Esca smiled, taking the proffered fabric. "Not a single one of those fuckers tried to save me."

Eggsy scoffed. He'd watched the whole thing from his office. Seen Ben freeze up. Watched Callum choose to save him over Esca. He shrugged nonchalantly, "Well you were a dick to pretty much all of them."

Esca raised a brow, "That's what Merlin told me to do. _If they can't put aside their personal grudges for the mission, they are not Kingsman material_. Blah blah blah." He gave an exaggerated eye roll and followed Eggsy to the door.

"Well, don't complain, at least your getting out of here for the next three months. "

Esca scoffed, "It's not exactly a holiday. I'm in secondment to the Statesmen."

It was Eggsy's turn to roll his eyes, "Oh right, such a hardship spending months in a warm climate with your boyfriend. "

"He's not my boyfriend." Esca argued.

"No?" Eggsy huffed disbelievingly. "You talk to and about him all the time, you’re quick to come to his defence, and you practically implode whenever his name is mentioned." He stared at the other man with a satisfied smirk.

"If all that makes me and Marcus a couple, what does it say about you and Harry?" Esca asked with a too satisfied grin, brow raised in challenge. “Me and Marcus, were barely dating a few weeks when he got shipped back to the US, you and Harry…”

“Harry and I are just….” Eggsy inhaled sharply, his heart racing. “I won’t miss having you around, that’s for sure.” He sniped, marching off childishly.

Esca sighed, “I’m sorry, Eggsy.” He hurried after him, tugging on his shoulder. “Seriously, Pal, I didn’t mean. – I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“I asked for it, I guess.” He shrugged, slipping his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

The pair stood there silently for a few seconds, before Esca inhaled deeply and asked, “How’s Lancelot doing?” He and Roxy weren't on a first name basis quite yet, despite Esca having been apart of Kingsman for over a year.

"She's doing okay. Still seeing Guinevere, but I'm sure she'll be back out there kicking arse better than the rest of us in no time."

Esca exhaled a long breath, "I hope so. Losing a partner in the field is pretty difficult to get over, even for a Kingsman."

"I didn't say she'll get over it, i said she'll be back, and she will. Roxy is the strongest woman I know."

There was another awkward silence only broken by Merlin's appearance, "I hope you're gonna change out of those wet clothes before you head for the plane."

Esca rolled his eyes, "Yes _Dad_," he grunted petulantly.

Merlin glared, "I do not want to have to tell your mother you died of hypothermia. Our fragile truce won't survive it, so if you wouldn't mind." He waved his arm in the direction of the changing rooms.

Eggsy watched the exchange with a hollow envious feeling. If his father had lived, would they be like Merlin and Esca? He didn’t think so. Eggsy liked to think that he and his father would be closer, more like mates than father and son. Going to the pub after work. Weekends at The Den cheering on the teams. Sunday lunches with Mum and Daisy. – Sure, he knows Daisy wouldn’t be there if his dad had lived, but it was his fantasy.

As Esca bid him farewell, Eggsy’s smile and headed off towards the shuttle, an old question exploding to life once more. How would his father feel about him and Harry? If there were a him and Harry. Would he be like Eggsy’s mum, who’s opinion of Harry Hart had never really recovered from the bottom of the toilet. – Of course, if his dad were alive then there would be no reason for her to hate Harry, would there?

“Galahad!”

Eggsy stopped, turning. “Yes Merlin?”

“I’ll need you tomorrow. With Lancelot out of commission and the others all out on mission, I need someone to help with training.”

“What?” Eggsy frowned, “You have a team for all that.”

“I _had_ a team for all that.” Merlin reminded him meaningfully.

Eggsy let out a pained, regretful sigh. All the men and women who’d put him through his paces were long gone. Dead or retired. And while Kingsman was finally back on its feet, they were still low on personnel, especially when it came to recruit training. “Right, yeah. Alright, Bruv.” He turned, heading for the lifts instead. “I better get some sleep then.”

“It’s appreciated.” Merlin said with a rare smile. “Goodnight.”

“Night Merlin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chester isn’t canonically Harry’s father I know, it’s my personal head-canon that appears in almost all my kingsman fics when necessary, along with Merlin’s real name being Mycroft. Also, Yes, Esca and Marcus are from The Eagle which I also ship, and as Channing Tatum was in Kingsman 2, I figured why not. I wrote the water test long before the EE anniversary episode, and it’s a canonical thing, but I admit, I did give Ben’s reaction a tweak after watching the last few episodes. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the rest of the story, as always feedback is greatly appreciated. Please point out mistakes if you see when (without being a pompous dick about it.) Training starts next chapter.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Training ideas taken from SAS: Who Dares Wins, seeing as how Kingsman doesn’t really tell us what happens in training beyond the water test.
> 
> I'd like to thank my amazing friend and cousin, Tyhyin for beta reading this chapter for me. <3

Callum woke with a start, sweat clinging to his flesh and sending a chill though him. The room was still dark, the sound of muffled breaths and gently snoring surrounding him. Rolling onto his back, chest heaving as he tried to calm his rapidly pounding heartbeat, Callum closed his eyes once more.

They weren't shut for long, a second or two, before the horrors of his nightmares returned. Exploding into his mind. His eyelids shot open and he breathed deeply, jaw clenched painful to stop from making any sound. The last thing he wanted was anyone discovering his secrets.

With his eyes open, sleep abandoned, Callum turned his head. despite the dark, he could see the solid shape of Ben in the bed beside him. He could hear the gentle sound of his breathing and it triggered a strange sensation within him. Pressing his lip into a thin line, Callum threw off his covers and swung his long legs over the side of the bed as he sat up. With his bare feet pressed into the cold floor, he let his head fall into his hands, elbows digging painfully into his thighs, and breathed.

He'd been doing so well; it had been two months since he'd had a nightmare. Longer since it had one that had him waking covered in a cold sweat. He knew, _obviously_, the drenched body of their fellow recruit had triggered it. Digging up images he'd thought he'd put behind him.

Getting to his feet, Callum headed for the lavatories, careful not to wake anyone. He had no idea what time it was. He felt as if he'd slept seconds and hours, all at once. As he emptied his bladder, his free hand absently rubbed at his side. The shadow of grief once more rearing its head. He tucked himself away and headed for the sink, washing his hands before padding barefoot back to his bed.

He plonked down on the mattress once more with a sigh and just waited. He reached over for his watch; it was a little past 4:43am. He wondered what time Merlin would be rousing them. In the army he was usually up at 5 and he assumes Kingsman was the same.

With another world-weary sigh, Callum stretched out on his bunk once more and stared at the ceiling tiles, listening to the gentle sounds around him. In the darkness the thoughts tried to claw themselves back to the surface, the gentle snoring of those around him slowly began to sound uncomfortably like the rumble of an RV. The creak of a bed spring to his left was an eerie reminder of an EOD engaging. Callum squeezed his eyes closed and breathed deeply, but it didn't help. Behind his eyelids, in the dark, he could see it all again. A screaming mother. A terrified child. The football pressed between the boy’s hands.

Exhaling in a rush, Callum sat up again, the sweat prickly on his back. His hands clenched tightly against his thighs.

Then suddenly there was light everywhere, along with the clear echoing of a Scottish voice, "Rise and shine Ladies and Gentlemen."

Callum leapt to his feet, glancing only briefly to the bed on his right, before standing to attention at the end of his bed, eager to be away from the silence and the memories. He was swiftly followed by the others, except for Ben, who Callum saw out of the corner of his eye drag himself to the end of his bunk. Once there, Ben stood, rubbing tiredly at his eyes.

"What kind of time you call this. " The man grouched miserably.

"I call this 5am, and ye better get used to it." Merlin replied, shooting Ben a disgruntled look. "Now fall in." He waved his clipboard in front of him to indicate just where he wanted them.

Callum quickly stepped into line with everyone else, his focus locked on his CO. Despite that, he couldn't help but notice Ben as the man stepped forward. It took all Callum self-control not to turn and look at the man before he vanished from his peripheral.

In front of him, Merlin gave a sharp nod and turned on his heels and headed for the door, the line marching alone behind.

They were led to a large semi empty mess hall. " You have thirty minutes. " Merlin informed before turning on the balls of his feet and leaving them alone. Callum hovered uncertainty, watching as the others hurried over to the food.

"Come on," Ben's voice accompanied a gentle slap on the back, " big boy like you needs to keep his strength up. "He said with a bright wide smile, before marching over to grab a tray.

Callum slowly followed, brows pinched together and heart hammering.

Everything Ben said sounded like he was flirting, but that wouldn't make sense. There was no way he could know. No one knew. Not anymore. Perhaps he was just misreading the signals, he did that a lot. He'd done that with Whitney, so much so it had almost destroyed their relationship before it had even gotten off the ground.

The thought of his girlfriend made Callum's gut twist and burn, especially when Ben shot him a cheeky wink over his shoulder and his heart gave a flutter. He had to stop. Whitney was what he wanted. Whitney was amazing and caring, and beautiful. Whitney made sense. Whatever it was he feeling about the man in front of him wasn't real. It couldn't be because that wasn't who he was. It wasn't who he was meant to be.

It wasn't who he wanted to be.

Something in his chest rebelled at that thought, and like a lightning bolt his mind was filled with yelling and blood, and Chris' wide eyes burning into his own a second before...

"Hey Cal, you alright?" Ben asked, tearing him away from the memory.

Callum stared at him, disoriented for a moment, gaze dropping to where Ben's small fingers were curled around his arm. Swallowing thickly, he shook it off, "Fine." He said sharply.

Ben stared at him for a second before giving a disgruntled huff and marching away. Sliding his tray across the shelf, Callum forced down the wave of regret at his harsh tone. He was almost too sensitive, or at least that's what his father said. As had, some of his fellow marines'. Except Chris.

Gritting his teeth, Callum determinedly locked away all thought of Chris and instead focused on his breakfast and the day ahead of him.

Filling his tray, he turned and found his new unit gathered around a table, Ben sat on the end of a long table, silently eating while everyone else talked around him. Callum watched him for a moment, before squaring his shoulders and heading over. He took the vacant space across from Ben, who glanced up only briefly.

After a few tense seconds, Callum leant forward and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Ben looked up through his lashes and arched a brow expectantly, causing Callum to shift awkwardly in the small gap on the bench. He glanced along at the others, but they all seemed to be too focused on discussing what lay ahead. Exhaling, Callum turned back to Ben, who was still staring at him. "I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm sorry." He repeated, "I - " shaking his head, Callum stared down at the food in front of him. His appetite suddenly gone.

"Don't worry about it." Ben reassured after a second, and when Callum looked up, the other man was back to stuffing food in his face. "You better eat." Ben muttered around a piece of toast, "Lord knows what they have in store for us. For all we know, this might be our only meal."

Callum couldn't help but smile, shaking his head as he reluctantly dug his fork into his scrambled eggs. "They won't starve us." He huffed out, meeting Ben's gaze across the table.

"They tried to drown us last night, I wouldn't put anythink past 'em."

"They didn't try to drown us." Callum laughed, rolling his eyes, relaxing. "It was a test."

"Some test. It got Ging..." Ben shot Callum a look and trailed off. "Thanks, by the way. For saving me."

Callum cleared his throat and shrugged, "Anyone would have done the same." He dismissed.

Ben raised a brow at him and shot look down the table. A couple of people shifted awkwardly in their seats, clearly hearing Callum's comment, while others obviously heard but felt no guilt at almost letting him drown. "Yeah." Ben scoffed, turning his attention back to his plate.

They all fell into an uncomfortable silence around the steel table, their attention now suddenly focused on their breakfast. Callum followed suit, only glancing up sporadically. Each time he did, he seemed to just miss Ben's gaze. He realised it could actually just be his imagination, but each time it happened, his heart skipped a beat.

Eventually, Merlin's voice echoed around the room as he called their attention. Hurriedly everyone got to their feet. Well, almost everyone. Ben took his time, savouring the last of his tea before getting up.

"Stow your trays and line up." Merlin ordered calmly.

Everyone jumped to it, the room filled with the sound of metal crashing together as trays we tossed aside. The sound caused Callum to freeze and flinch slightly, his heart racing and a cool sweat breaking out on his back. It was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous.

Then suddenly there was a sturdy pressure between his shoulder blades and a whispered voice.

"Come on, Cal. Don't want to keep Nessie waiting."

Callum stared down at Ben as he waltzed past. Inhaling deeply, Callum added his tray to the pile and quickly joined the line.

Merlin lead them out of the Mess and back to their room. "You'll find everything you'll need for your time here on your bunks. Do not lose any of it." He ordered harshly. "You've got five minutes to get changed into your uniforms."

In front of him, everyone hurried past Merlin to get to their bunks. Callum trailed after Ben and watched out of the corner of his eyes as the man stared bewildered down at the equipment and piled fabric in front of him. "Just get changed, we'll pack everything away later." Callum told him.

Ben glanced up, then looked around as everyone was hurriedly stripping out of their clothes and into the awful plaid jumpsuits. He turned back to his own bunk and lifted the clothing with a wrinkled nose. "They seriously expect us to wear this?"

Callum was already half in his, the jumpsuit hanging off his hips while he fastened the buttons of the white shirt beneath. "You can complain about the uniform later too. Just get dressed." He ordered, glancing up.

Ben smirked at him with a heated look, "Yes, Sir."

Callum paused, his breath catching as he met the other man's gaze for a second, before shaking it off and turning his back on the man. As he stared at the now empty place in front of him, he heard the rustle of clothing and had to bite the inside of his lip in order to resist turning. He tried to call up images of Whitney in his mind but just couldn't seem to hold onto them longer than a few seconds, because Ben was delivering a running commentary behind him.

__(K)__

Harry woke with a groan, his whole body screaming out in protest to the way he'd fallen asleep. He was too old to be passing out on the sofa in awkward and uncomfortable positions. Opening his eye, Harry let out another groan when the sunlight burst into his brain, and he instantly closed it again.

Throwing his arm over his face, Harry continued to lay there, listening to his body’s silent complaints. There was still a pain in his head, but this time it had more to do with the half bottle of scot he'd drank than his brain injury.

The sound of barking outside made him wince and groan, as he remembered that Kingsman was currently training a set of new recruits. With a weary sigh, Harry dropped his arm and forced himself upright. It took a few minutes for him to get his balance, and he wondered if he'd even be able to stand, let alone walk down to the dining room for some much-needed coffee.

Once the room stopped spinning however, Harry pushed himself to his feet and padded over to his desk. Dragging open his top draw, he retrieved a glass case. With the way his head was feeling, he figured his tinted glasses would be his better option. Slipping them on with a sigh of blessed relief.

With the glasses in place, Harry headed for the door. He needed a change of clothes before he faced the world, so he headed up the stairs to the bedroom. It took him a little over half an hour to shower and change into a fresh suit.

He stepped out of his room feeling a tad more himself, and all set for the day ahead. He'd given Eggsy the next few days off to recover, so he'd have time to sort his head out and recharge. With that in mind, Harry headed down the marble stairs to the dining room with a spring in his step. Only to draw to a grinding halt when he stepped into the brightly lit room, gloriously filled with the scent of coffee, to find Eggsy sat at the dining table with a full English breakfast in front of him. "I thought I told you to take the week off." Harry asked, his tone harsher than he intended.

Eggsy met his gaze, lips glistening with grease, which did little for Harry's state of mind, and grumbled, "Merlin wants my help with training."

Harry straightened, frustrated that he didn't foresee this. They were alarmingly understaffed at the present time, and with Esca on secondment with Statesman for the next few months, and Lancelot still recovering from her injuries, what did he expect Merlin to do. With a nod, Harry heads for the sideboard and the coffee he desperately needs if he's going to be trapped on the estate with Eggsy for however long this all takes. - Though technically there was no reason Harry was forced to remain on the premises during training. It wasn't necessary. He could quite easily go home at the end of the day and let Eggsy and Merlin deal with the whole thing. Just as Chester had done.

Harry poured his coffee and headed around the dining table to the large window. He watched as the recruits filled out in their jumpsuits, each looking as uncertain as the next. He remembered that feeling. Excitement and fear battling for dominance, leaving him buzzing with too much energy. He slipped one hand into his trousers pocket and sipped at his coffee, savouring the bitter taste, as Merlin informed the recruits of their next step on the road to becoming a Kingsman.

"Tenner Ben picks a bulldog." Eggsy suddenly announced beside him, startling Harry, and chasing away the sense of calm he'd felt a second previously.

Harry kept his eyes on the group below them, "Perhaps he'll choose a pug." His attempt to lighten the moment was rewarded with a soft chuckle.

"Shut up, Harry." Eggsy huffed out, knocking his elbow against Harry's arm.

And like that, the bubble of tension popped and they both inhaled a fresh breath.

"You have the unfair advantage," Harry said, shoulders relaxing, "Mr Highway would be a much more even playing field."

Eggsy grunted, "I suppose. Tenner on...." he stared down at the tall man thoughtfully. "Dalmatian." He said with confidence.

Harry looked between the two young men, considering the guess. He realised that Eggsy also had insider information of Callum Highway too and kicked himself. "I may as well just give you to ten pounds now." He huffed.

Eggsy laughed warmly, and it was a sound that cause Harry's heart to sing with happiness. "Ok. Ok. How about one of the others. Blake?" He pointed to a short bulky man with bright ginger hair.

"Very well." Harry agreed with a nod, "Blake it is."

The stood silently considering the choices for a few seconds, "Beagle." Eggsy finally announced.

Harry hummed, "Interesting, but he looks far more like an Irish Setter man to me."

Eggsy grinned, holding out his hand. "We'll see."

__(EE)__

Ben fussed with his collar for the fifteenth time since putting the damn thing on. Frankly, he thought the whole outfit was ridiculous. He was used to wearing overalls at the garage, but this thing was an eye sore. Looking down at himself, he wrinkled his nose in disgust. Again.

"What's wrong?" Callum hissed at him.

"What's right?" Ben huffed back, turning his head to look at the taller man, his eyes giving Callum's body in a scan. He leant back slightly to check out the curve of his arse and exhaled a long sight. "If there anything you don't look good in."

Callum went even more rigid, it that was even possible, and Ben rolled his eyes. Poor adorable straight boys, they never know how to take a compliment. He was about to say just that, when the door of the balcony opened, and Merlin strode out. Ben huffed, rolling his eyes at the dramatics. Though no doubt, were Lola and Jay there, they'd quickly point out that he himself could be somewhat of a drama queen.

Merlin didn't speak for a few minutes, the silence stretching on, only occasionally broken by the sound of yapping puppies. From the minute they stepped out of the building to the sight of the caged dogs, Ben had been curious what they were planning to do with them. He remembered hearing about how they used to shoot dogs in order to acclimatise soldiers to violence. Well, there was no need for that with him. He'd been living with violence most of his life. He'd shoot a dog, easy. It was just a fucking dog.

He wasn't so sure about Callum though, going by the soppy look he's been giving the things the past few minutes.

"As some of you will have learned last night," Merlin said without preamble, "teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman. We're here to enhance your skill, test you to the limit. Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy."

Ben held his breath, gave Callum a side long glance and waited for the axe to fall.

"Wherever you go, your dog goes. You will care for it. You will teach it, and by the time its fully trained, so will you be."

Ben's head snapped up in surprise. What now? Did he just say they were being given puppies? To - keep? His heart started to race, eyes dropping to the cages with a ridiculous amount of excitement suddenly. He'd always wanted a dog, but his dad wouldn't hear of it. Something to do with them being too much hassle. His eyes instantly zone in on a bulldog.

Ben startled as everyone beside him yelled out a conformation to a question he hadn't even heard.

"Choose a puppy." Merlin ordered.

Callum's long legs had him at the front of cue if it could be called such. Unlatching one of the cages and lifting out an adorable Dalmatian. Ben couldn't help but smile as the man stepped away from the group, cooing at the thing. 

Tearing his gaze from the Marine, Ben searched the cages, praying none of the other fuckers picked the bulldog he'd already set his heart on. Shoving his way past a couple of the other recruit, he yanked open the cage door and reached inside. The thing was small, his grumpy face staring up at Ben trustingly. The white and brown fur soft and warm against his palms. "Alright mate." He greeted with a grin, turning to make his way to where the others were back in line.

Settling in beside Callum, he noticed how everyone's dogs were line up in front of their owners, including the Dalmatian, so Ben reluctantly placed his Bulldog down, wrapping the end of its lead around his wrist.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen.” Merlin said, clearing his throat to get their attention once more, “You see that path?” He pointed to a wide gravel path that lead away from the house. “It circumvents the entirety of Kingsman land. You, and your new companion, are going to run that circuit. – Three times.”

Ben stared at the path, that seemed easy enough. He wasn’t like he was out of shape; he’d been looking after himself a lot more lately. He’d started jogging while in France, thanks to Adam. Ben sighed at the thought of his ex. If he could even be called that. He’d been his first attempt at a relationship since Paul, but it hadn’t worked. Adam had just been too damn good for him. Too sweet. Everything Ben was not.

The fact was, Ben knew he wasn’t a good person, and never would be. The closest he’d come was during those too short months with Paul.

“Ben?”

He stared at the call of his name, blinking, and staring up as Merlin glowered down at him.

“Am I boring you?”

“Uh? Oh, nah. Sorry.” Ben looked at the others, but the only one that was watching him was Callum, and his damn puppy. Ben’s heart gave a squeeze, and he hurriedly turned his attention to back to an impatient Merlin.

Merlin gave an irritated nod, “You have 45 mins. - “Any questions?” He asked, most likely not expecting anyone to ask one. Well, Ben loved fucking with people’s expectations, so he raised his hands. “Yes. Ben?”

“How far is it?”

Merlin smirked down at him, “2.5 miles. - Per circuit.” With that announcement, the Scotsman made a show of holding up his stopwatch, “Go!”

Ben stared bewildered. 9 miles? Was he having a fucking laugh? Ben didn’t think he’d ever run 9 miles in his life. Was part of Kingsman’s plan, to kill people off with exhaustion?

Beside him, everyone turned and set off along the path, their dogs at their sides. All but for Callum, who cradled his puppy against his chest and headed off. Ben shook his head, that puppy was going to weigh him down. With a sigh and a slight smile pulling at his lips, Ben wrapped the dog lead more securely around his wrist and set off after Callum and the other recruits.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder some words are spelt wrong on purpose to indicate the dialect.

Eggsy sighed heavily, shaking his head. "I'll have to give you the tenner later." He grouched, looking up at a smug Harry. "My wallet's in my room."

Harry looked down at him, smiling softly in that way he always used to. "Very well." Turning, Harry began to head back to his seat at the head of the table.

Looking out of the window once more, Eggsy watched the man and his damn dog, "I would have sworn he'd have gone for the damn beagle. I mean, his file said he'd had one as a boy."

Harry huffed out a casual laugh as he took a seat. "In need, but it was his father's dog. However, he and his father didn't get alone at all. Thus, he'd associate the beagle with the man. On the other hand, his grandmother had an Irish Setter."

Eggsy stared at him, eyes wide. "How the hell do you know that?"

Harry smirked, "Alistair date his uncle for a few months back in the early 90s."

"That's cheating." He announced, scandalised. Though his lip curled with amusement.

Harry laughed while lifting his cup to his lips. "I hardly think so. I simply used all the resources at my disposal."

Eggsy scoffed, shaking his head, and sliding his hands into the pockets of his suit trousers, and leaning back against the window frame. He watched Harry enjoy his breakfast. They hadn't shared breakfast together like this in months, and it felt nice. He'd missed it. - He missed Harry so much but couldn't quite figure out how to fix whatever was wrong with them.

As Harry continued to focus on is tea, Eggsy stared, eyes searching the man's face. He looked tired. There were shadows beneath his eyes, and shaving foam at his ear. "Are you alright, Harry?" He asked.

The older agent lowered his teacup and looked innocently over at him. "Pardon?"

"You look - well, not to put too fine a point on it, Harry, you look shit."

"Well....thank you." Harry replied icily. "How very courteous of your."

Eggsy exhaled a frustrated sigh at Harry dismissive tone, the chasm opening between them once more. _Don’t pretend ye don’t know you’ve been acting like a little shit since yer break-up. Nor that Harry’s been takin’ the brunt of it. _Merlin's words echoed in his mind once again. Just as they'd done throughout the night.

The fact was, he knew Merlin was right. He knew he'd been an arsehole to Harry over the past year and a half. Just as he knew Harry's attitude was a direct result of the way he'd behaved. Turning his head, he stared out over the early morning greenery of the Kingsman Manor, and exhaled a sigh. He couldn't keep doing this, he knew. It was killing him. Slowly, day after day. So, what if Harry didn't feel the same way about him? Harry wasn't the first person Eggsy had fallen for who didn't return his foolish besotted devotion. - There was Mr Peary, his gymnastics coach, and Marion in secondary school. And of course, there was the disaster that was Lt. Doheny. Though that wasn't quite so unrequited as everyone thought.

Shaking off the memory of his ex-commander, he looked back at Harry. If he could survive all those heartbreaks, he could survive a future wherein he and Harry were just friends. He turned back to see Harry reading the morning paper. "How have you been sleeping?" He asked with concerned.

"Perfectly, thank you." Harry replied from behind the paper.

Eggsy rolled his eyes and exhaled. "The headaches?"

"Gone."

"Come off its Harry. I'm trying here, okay." He grumbled frustratingly.

Finally, the paper lowered, and Harry stared back at him, brows furrowed. There was a long pause before he folded the newspaper and tossed it aside with a world-wary sigh. "I had a rough night, probably the stress of selections." Harry informed him.

Of course, that was bollocks and they both knew it. Harry oversaw an entire secret spy agency for fucks sake. Selecting a new agent was the least stressful thing part of his job, seeing how all the pressure was on Merlin.

However, before Eggsy could point that out, the door opened and the man in question stepped inside. "Mornin' gentleman."

Eggsy inhaled, looking from Harry to the Scotsman, "Mornin' Merlin." He pushed himself off the window frame and hurried over to the table. He reached unceremoniously across for his teacup, and the abandoned slice of now cold toast.

"I have to check in with The Statemen."

"He's going to be alright, Merlin." Harry muttered with a hint of amusement. "He can't get into any trouble."

Merlin scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Can’t he?"

"He's just there to help them out until Ginger's replacement is out of hospital." Harry reminded his best friend.

"And to get his leg over." Eggsy added unhelpfully, gaining disgruntled looks from both men. Eggsy help up his toast, "Don't shoot the messenger."

Merlin glowered at him and shoved a stopwatch in his direction. "Get outside."

Setting down his teacup, Eggsy took the stopwatch. "What about the clipboard?" The reply came in the form of another hard stare. Merlin and his clipboard were never parted, and Eggsy knew it.

Laughing, he shot Harry a wink and headed for the door. "We'll finish our conversation later." He said, staring at his mentor, still concerned. "Okay, Harry?"

There was a long pause, Harry looked uncertain. But then he inclined his head. "Of course, Eggsy."

With that confirmation, Eggsy stepped out into the foyer, pulling the door close behind him. As soon as he was done with these recruits, he'd head up to Harry's office.

__(EE)__

Sweat rolled down Callum's back causing him to shiver as he finally reached the house, his puppy panting beside him. Exhausted, he doubled over, slowly regaining his breath. He looked down at his puppy, its big brown eyes meeting his. He'd always wanted a dog, but his dad wouldn't allow it. They were too much hassle apparently. Reaching out, he ruffled the little mites’ ears and smiled when it lent forward and licked at his cheek.

With a laugh, Callum straightened, and his eyes instantly landed on Eggsy, stood a few feet away, stopwatch and clipboard in hand. He was scribbling as each of Callum fellow recruited piled in around him. He looked at each sweat covered face and frowned when he realised one was missing. Looking over his shoulder, he squinted as Ben trudged alone with is dog. For some unfathomable reason, his heart did a little flip flop and he couldn't take his eyes of the slightly younger man as Ben finally came to a breathless exhausted stop in front of him.

"Fuck, I knackered." He muttered, looking ready to topple back onto the driveway.

"Fall in." Eggsy ordered, loud and sharp.

Ben grunted, shaking his head, but dragged his feet over to line up beside Callum. "How do you look so fucking put together?"

Callum stared at him; brow raised. "I'm a Marine."

"Fought you wos a cook?" Ben countered, smirking.

Callum glowered down at him, then shook his head and turned back to regard Eggsy, instinctively standing to attention. His new best friend at his side.

"Alright. Most of you were back in under the time limit. Just barely." His eyes flickered over to Ben. "But you'll have plenty of opportunity to improve. Merlin makes you run this course every morning." He smirked. "Now though, you'll hit the showers. I want you back in the foyer," He jerked his head behind him, "In ten minutes. - Go on!"

Callum couldn't help but glance back to check on Ben, noticing him pausing to talk to Eggsy, who laughed. He found himself dragging his feet until Ben caught him watching and flashed him smile-wink combo. At which point he turned around and hurried back to the barrack.

Showering with other men had never been something Callum was comfortable. He'd always been tall and lanky, and self-conscious of his body. However, his self-consciousness had grown since his injury, even though most of the men in his unit had their own scars. - And it wasn't as if anyone was actually looking at him.

Ordering Pongo to stay by his bed, he began to strip out of his sweat soaked running gear and grabbed his towel and soap. When he turned, his heart leapt into his throat as Ben seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Callum swallowed, staring down at the man before him.

After a few tense seconds, Ben cleared his throat, "You just goin' t'stand there all day? Not that I'm complaining. It's an excellent view." He smirked, eyes travelling down Callum's chest. Then they stopped, lingering on the scarred tissue that made up Callum's left side.

Grunting, Callum turned away and all but ran to the showers. He'd gotten used to the scars. Even gotten used to other people seeing them. It couldn't exactly hide them in the communal showers back at base.

But there was something about Ben seeing them that made him suddenly self-conscious. More than he'd ever been in his life. He stepped under the water, closing his eyes, and allowing its warmth to rain down on him. Slowly he felt all the tension seep out of him, only for it all to come crazing back in when he sensed someone step up beside him. He didn't dare open his eyes, already knowing who it was.

Keeping his eyes closed, he hurried to clean himself. The sooner the sweat was scrubbed from his skin, the sooner he could leave the showers, dress, and escape Ben's presence. - And the temptation it held.

However, just as he was relaxing once more, Ben's voice filled his ear. "If you need someone to scrub your back."

Callum's head snapped around; eyes wide as he regarded a smiling Ben. His heart pounded in his chest, what little air there was instantly vanishing while visions filled his mind. Unwelcome visions. His head snapped around, eyes searching those around them, but it seemed no one else had heard Ben's offer. Had Ben even made it? Perhaps Callum had imagined it.

Either way, he couldn't stay there. Rinsing off the soap from his body, Callum switched off the water and stepped away, grabbing his towel. He swiftly wrapped it tight around his waist and rushed out of the small shower area.

He didn't even properly dry himself once he was back at his bunk. He simply, dragged the town over his arse and crotch, then reached for his underwear. He didn't remove the towel, instead stepping into them and shimmying them up beneath the green fabric, like something off Brighton beach. Only when he was covered, did he toss the towel aside and reach for his uniform.

Around him, others were hurriedly dressing, which made him feel less uncomfortable. He was just trying his boots when a figure appeared a little way in front of him. He didn't look up, knowing exactly who it was. Despite that, however, he seemed to sense the man's every movement. He worked quicker, tugging on his trousers leg, making sure it covered the correct amount of his boot, then Callum shot to his feet, grabbed the lead of his dog, and marched out of the room.

__(K)__

"Are you alright Harry?" Merlin asked, worried eyes scanning his friends face. "You know you don't have to stay in the mansion for this."

Harry sipped at his tea and pretended to be focused on the newspaper in front of him. "I'm fine Merlin." He glanced up briefly to smile at his long-time friend, "I just fell asleep on my couch while doing paperwork."

He didn't need to be looking at Merlin to know he didn't believe at that, the long drawn out hum was enough. "How did the test go last night?" He asked instead, eyes back on his paper, cup on its way to his lips.

Merlin, who'd taken a seat to Harry's left, spread jam over a slice of toast as he replied. "Excellently. The point was affectively made."

Harry nodded, looking over at him, "Did any of them spot the mirror." And by any he meant Ben.

Shaking his head, Merlin bit into his small slice of toast, chewing and swallowing before answering, "No. - But Mr Highway at least put his fellow recruits’ safety before his own."

That caught Harry's attention, and he looked over once more, brow raised, "Oh? So, Esca is...."

"On his way to the US. - Everything played out exactly as planned." At Harry's confused look, Merlin clarified, while reaching for another piece of toast. "Mr Mitchell had a bit of a turn. Seemed to have a panic attack in the water. Mr Highway managed to get him calm and to the pipes before he drowned."

Panic attacks? Harry frowned, a mixture of confused and worried. "Is he alright?"

"Seems to be. - I do think we're going to have to have him talk to Guinevere though. - It might even work in our favour."

"Yes." Harry agreed, nodding. He stared down at his empty plate thoughtfully. All recruits had to have a session with the agency psychiatrist, mostly to evaluate them and makes sure they're not allowing another dangerous into the ranks of Kingsman. - She also helped agents cope with the shit they did and saw out in the field.

"I think Mr. Highway might also do with an extra session or so."

Harry's frown deepened with concern, "Oh?"

Merlin nodded slowly, not meeting his friends gaze. "The lad could do with talking to someone. His reaction to seeing Esca's body was...." He exhaled a slow breath while fiddling with the last few inches of toast, a familiar shadow passing over his face.

Harry understood what Merlin wasn't saying. "Merlin?" He waited for his friend to look at him, "Should we cut them loose?" He asked bluntly.

"We need Mr Mitchell." Merlin said quietly, meeting Harry's gave.

Harry's stomach twisted painfully at the reminder that they were using the young man. It left a soar taste in his mouth. Mostly likely because Ben was Eggsy's cousin, and both he and Merlin knew that if Eggsy discovered what they were doing, all hell would break loose. Eggsy was fiercely loyal to those he cared about, and incredibly protective of his kin. Harry was fully aware that if tested, his loyalty to his blood would trump his loyalty to Kingsman.

"Mr. Highway on the other hand," Merlin continued, "He has potential."

"Oh?" Harry said, regarding his friend.

Merlin nodded, "Aye. There's somethin' about the lad. He's Kingsman material."

"In that case, speak to Guinevere."

They fell silent once more, both returning to their breakfast. Harry went back to his paper, scanning over the international news, before flipping to the back page. Sport had finally been getting back to normal with those injured during V-Day had only just recovered when Poppy had pulled her little stunt. It had resulted in the death of a handful of prominent sports personalities, and those that hadn't succumbed to Poppy's tainted drugs, were suffering from a fresh round of PTSD. - They weren't the only ones, of course. The public hadn't taken the attack well at all.

"No FA Cup this year." Harry commented casually.

"Nah. - And just as Arsenal were getting back on track." Merlin bemoaned and Harry nodded in agreement. "Cannae deny it's done the game some good. Taken it back to its roots."

Harry couldn't argue with that. For years they'd been complaining about high wages and footballers being focused on their '_image_' than on the football. Over the last few years however, it had very much gone back to the muddy game he and Merlin were raised on. And with most of the world’s millionaires gone, clubs had no choice but to go back to grassroots level. Gone were the extortionate wages. - The same went for most of the other sports too.

"Shame really." Merlin went on, "You could have taken Eggsy to the game."

The casualness of his old friend’s tone maligned the no so subtle hint. "Merlin." He said in warning. To his eternal frustration, the man simply smiled at him while pushing his chair back and getting to his feet.

"I have work to do." He said, already heading for the door. Only once he was there, did he look back at Harry. The teasing light had vanished from his eyes, however. "I'll schedule an appointment with Genevieve for you too."

Harry glowered at his second, "That is not...."

"The rings beneath your eyes and the smell of whiskey says it is." And with that, Merlin swept out of the room, leaving Harry feeling irritated and very much ashamed of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got a new chapter done. Sorry it’s been so long, but well – you know how its been, the world has gone to hell in a handbasket and apparently taken my focus with it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It hasn’t been Beta Read, so please feel free to point out any spelling/grammar mistakes (in a constructive way, thank you.) and as always feedback is always appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to keep update on my progress, you can find me at https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fanfictionbygatergirl79


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